Back in the early 1980s I advertised for pen-pals in the Japanese gay magazine Barazoku. We got quite a few responses and I distributed them to gay people in San Francisco who were interested and kept some for myself.
In those days I could actually write a penpal letter in Japanese on student paper.
One day a penpal wrote me and said that he was getting married to a woman. I being a gay lib activist wrote him saying that he shouldn’t do it and be free. I never heard from him again. It all came back while watching this movie.
About the movie.
It is important that gay couples exist in a social support network. That is they should have gay friends and a gay social network. Yuki and Akira wouldn’t have broken up if they had a social support network. Friends would explain to Akira how this pursuit of “normal” would end up, some of his friends would likely know someone who already made this mistake. Or Akira would know someone who made this mistake and could talk to him.
In real gay life Yuki would find another boyfriend. Whereas Akira is not a bad person, he is fairly conventional. Yuki on the other hand is an extraordinary person and a lot of guys of different backgrounds would treasure him. They wouldn’t be pushing themselves on him at the bar as they showed in the movie. Really special individuals would make an effort to see if he would date them.
Women who married gay men are not necessarily the innocents. Some have an attraction to gay men and fail to recognize it. Some women sort of figured it out but think that they are so special they will change him. However, in all situations there are signs and the person should have recognized them. In this case she was rejected once, and pushing, but not for a second did she recognized some obvious signs.
In real life they don’t get back together. The Indonesian gay movie, “Parts of the Heart,” has a case where a guy gets married, but expects to see his boyfriend on the side. The boyfriend moved on. Generally, this is what happens. You betrayed your relationship. People who betray their relationship usually are deficient as people, not always, but frequently.
This is generally why gay guys don’t plan on having relationships with bi guys. Though theoretically it is possible, the reality is that all too often bi guys get married and decide to meet men on the side. Sooner or later the wife finds out and the side guy gets dumped. I ran into such cases. Also, there are millions of gay men and there is no reason to take the risk of dating a bi guy. Again in romantic fantasy land I suppose it could work out, but gay people leave in the real world with a lot of problems as it is.
This isn’t a real problem for gay guys since the bi guys usually aren’t looking for a relationship, but just fun on the side. This is not always true, but is true often enough. I think in the decades I have lived, in multiple different gay communities, I don’t think I know of a single case where a gay man had to deal with a bi guy who wanted a relationship.
Now there are those who will go on and on about my attitude towards bi gusy, but the fact is for most gay men, bi guys are not for a serious relationship. They can be fun though and a side boyfriend, but not your core relationship. Of course there are exceptions.