Anyone got any dating advice for me?

I know this is mostly for talking about just shows and all but I could use some dating advice from you guys :slight_smile:

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this is so totally random, I love it :joy:
I’d love to give you advice but whether it’s right or not, you’d have to decide :joy:

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Lol I know it was my bad. Well I mean anything could be useful since i ain’t really got anyone to ask :grimacing::joy:

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Is there any specific person you would like to date (or are already dating)?
Don’t worry, we don’t need all the details, haha, but knowing a bit about your situation might help bring out good advice. :wink:

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There’s one K-Drama character who can make you want to date like her (or at least she makes me want to date like her) :smile:
It’s the elder sister of the FL in True Beauty, you might have watched how smooth she is when it comes to dating.

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Here’s my friendly and humane recommendation: Please wait until we’ve been vaccinated. This virus ain’t no joke. :grimacing:

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I just don’t feel well doing this far distance relationship because of my screw up past ones and me having these trust issues just make me come up with the dumbest conclusions if he’s you know, cheating on me? lol I mean I know I ain’t that perfect but like idk .

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I know! She so cool and pretty. I always wish I could be like those type of girls but nah I am too anti-social and awkward af lol.

Yes of course! :slight_smile: I am going to also make sure they got that vaccine before anything else lol. But with this kind other problem, I should have just stayed single and focus on school and work but nahh.

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If that could help you:
https://www.volarenovels.com/novel/grace-time/compatible

  • Before getting too much involved with someone, maybe get to know each other and in the process, get to know the answers for these questions:

Have we met each other already?
Are we the type to like or be able to maintain a distant relationship?
How often can we see each other and date?
What are our plans for the future?
How are we going to check that the other one doesn’t cheat?

  • for couples to really work out, they have to create memories together and live together at one point or another. So there will be 1 person in the couple in the end who will follow the other. If you live in different countries, one of you will have to move to another country.

  • Relationships are based on trust.
    You can’t pursue a relationship if you don’t trust a person at a certain level, a high level at least. If now you ask yourself if that guy is going to faithful to me, you have to have ways to check on it. In a distant relationship, that will be hard to do, no mobile phone you can check, no hickeys you can see or perfume you can smell, no conversation where you could see how he moves around, how he talks with other girls or his friends.

So one day or another, to trust him, you will have to see that guy and meet each other.

  • see how the relationship is going to evolve. You will miss each other and will you bear it for a long time?

I would say learn from your previous experiences. Why didn’t it work?

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Truth is that the kind of guy who would cheat, would do it under your nose as well. I know the distance makes it extra hard, but try not to be too insecure and don’t jump to conclusions. If you’re serious about this guy, just give it a chance. If he’s really a bad guy, you’ll find out sooner or later. If, on the other hand, he turns out to be the love of your life, then you wouldn’t want to spoil things by doubting him.

On the other hand, if you do have enough reason to think he’s no good, then get out before you get more and more attached to him.

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Damn …this was good stuff to read. I mean yeah I wanna see him and all but at some point, I’m just scared to find out one day he was sleeping with someone else while I’m here being faithful and only wanting him. I changed so much just for him and I waited to make sure I was 100% sure I liked him and I do. Honestly, I was hurt at first and cried when I thought all of this was just a joke but if comes out true I wouldn’t be hurt as much as I was before. Because it is what it is lol…

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That’s what makes it hard because he’s the first guy I fell in love with…I haven’t said the L word yet because idk it’s all new to me…but you’re right. I am going to give him a chance. If it does turn out that there is some evidence to prove he is lying and cheating on me, I’ll leave. Thank you though I appreciate this advice a lot.

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A guy who you have to change for isn’t a guy you should be with…that’ll only make you more insecure about whether you’re ‘enough’ for him or have to do more or else he’ll cheat. That’s something that no one should live with and it will be even harder in the future. If he likes you, it should be for who you really are inside, not some changed version.

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Just to be sure, what you see in romantic movies or dramas or shows, that’s most of the time not reality. What you could hear or see from long distance relationships is a fragment of a whole.

Your question about being betrayed by him in love is normally not the first question I’d have in mind when thinking about engaging myself in dating and surely not for first love or long distance relationship.
That gives me the feeling that you don’t seem to trust him enough in a long distance relationship? Do you know him enough to love him for who he is or has he shown you or not shown you something for you to not trust him on this particular point?
I think there is something. I might be wrong, but your first question or fear is really specific to you, him and your relationship. I would go with your instinct or first reaction on this.
At this point, I wouldn’t call it love immediately and carelessly, but maybe attraction. That’s a big difference and you have to know the difference for your sake.

Your partner normally would find a solution with you that will ease you on that matter (betrayal and trust issues) if he loves you. He would let you look at his phone if you ask for ex so you feel less anxious about that.

Has he suggested to meet him? Or were you the only one who wanted to see him? Wanting is not enough.

If you have never met him and you want a serious relationship, I still insist I think it’s better to meet him and go out with him in a public area with people in many instances to see how he is in reality, how it will be together and how he is with other people and then you will see if you’re really interested in him or no. That is the fastest way to let go of many doubts.
Otherwise, you will build an image of him and have expectations in your mind, but that picture of him might not be the real him and you might discover it too late if you decide to meet him later.
I wouldn’t rely on just what I can see behind a screen, because of filters. We don’t show who we really are, you have to observe with your eyes and live real life situations to be sure of your decision.

If there are trust issues at stake, it is even important to do that step first, or else you would be more crushed without checking if both of you were compatible in real life.

At the same time, you can ask each other questions when meeting each other and see if he’s honest with you.
Dates are not only to have fun, they’re also to get to know each other better, it’s the opportunity for you to know if he’s real with you or not. Ask questions that will help you in that sense and see how he reacts, his tone, does he look at you? If you have a problem, will he be here? Will he let you check his phone or will he say no?

If he wants to apply to be your partner, you have to kinda “interview” him and not only listening to what he says, but what he does in that sense. What I want to say is not trusting blindly or unconditionnally because you think you love him or based on the impression of first love. It’s the fastest way for you to be hurt in the end.

With time, you might discover more things about him that are not in phase with you, that you could have discovered before if you have met him? Are you sure you want to take this risk to engage yourself in a long distance relationship while having this problem of trust about him? I think knowing yourself first is really important. Are you sure it won’t turn toxic for you or you won’t feel more anxious?
If you feel that now, try to find a solution with your partner so you won’t stay in this anxiety when you will be really in a long distance relationship. You might have a lot more obstacles in a long distance relationship that you might not be feeling now or foresee now, but later. Other people will have normal dates, hug and kiss whereas you won’t have this. Will you still be okay?

That’s why you got to know yourself really well. Do you need someone to be near you to feel loved or when you have problems? Do you… assess what you need in a relationship, how you want your relationship to be, it’s not about sacrifices and giving only. Or rethink about your relationship.
There are people who can deal with long distance relationships and some can’t. You have to know if both of you can.

There are people that need to experience love to realize some things. In that case, I think you can still experience dates and all, maybe have your heart broken in the process, but at least, it will make you realize what you want in a relationship and be more picky so you won’t marry or have children with the wrong person.

It’s important to know that even if you love him, it might not mean you are both compatible.

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I thought what Spirit said was really true on many things on her videos.

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I suppose you are right about that…I guess I just didn’t wanna lose him but if he does not like me for me…it’ll hurt but it’s whatever. Might as well leave lol.

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