Cancer Support

[kakashiandme]

Hi! It’s me, Sheree.

From those who don’t already know… I HAVE CANCER.

I’ve started this thread because, well I’ve been getting so much support from those Viki friends who are survivors and/or knew a loved one who had cancer, and from those who generally just care about my existence.

I had never planned to tell everyone like this. If you follow me on FB, you already know because that is the ONLY place I announced my diagnosis. But last night, I tossed and turned for over 2 hours thinking to myself… just thinking… “There might be someone else in Viki who is like me and is quiet and doesn’t want people to know, who is scared, and feeling overwhelmed.” I felt that maybe having this out there, even if they don’t say anything, they can at least read about everyone else’s struggles and know that they aren’t alone.

I’ll start with me.

Last year, around Sept/Oct 2023, I had my yearly exam to have my “girls” squished. The radiologist said there was something suspicious, but it could be nothing, and scheduled me for a follow-up in March for another exam. March 2024 came. The radiologist was again concerned and stated that I needed to have a biopsy done. The next day, they stuck a very thick needle into the side of my right “girl”. I was numbed up well and didn’t feel anything but pressure. A week later, it was now April, I was diagnosed with Triple Negative Breast Cancer. Stage 1B; .9cm. I won’t even lie. I cried. I cried every… freaking… day. Breast Cancer. It’s not all pink ribbons. How do I tell my husband? My kids? My daughter was about to graduate high school. I cried some more. I called my mom. She was in shock. Breast Cancer. WTF? A week later, I announced it on FB to the rest of my family and friends.

I whirlwind of things happened. X-rays, CT scans, oncology appts, breast surgery appts… My mind was everywhere. Trying to keep my wits about me, trying to be a good soldier, the epitome of stubbornness. Then the MRI said, “Wait, hold my beer.” What was supposed to have been a .9cm demon in my “girl” was now almost 2cm. It was pissed off and growing fast. I was now Stage 2b.

Around this time, I was supposed to go to Chicago to visit some Viki friends and we were supposed to go and see Enhypen together. I held off canceling, hoping that I could squeeze this trip in. However, it wasn’t in the cards; canceled my hotel and plane ticket and threw my Enhypen ticket back into Ticketmaster (on a good note, my ticket sold just a few hours after putting it back in). A week later, same-day surgery to put a medi-port into my chest. The next day, my first round of chemo.

I’ve had my ups and downs with chemo. I found out I’m allergic to one chemo med called Taxol and injected Benadryl. You want to know what a heart attack feels like… Benadryl tried to ■■■■ me. I’m now afraid to even take the pill form which had never bothered me before.

We all know the common symptoms: nausea and hair loss. My oncologist is on top of my nausea and I’m fed anti-nausea medicine during chemo treatment and after. I’ve not actually felt sick to my stomach since my first chemo treatment. Hair loss: yep, I’m bald. I used to have long hair down to the middle of my back. No more. I look like a fat Sinead O’Connor. Nobody told me that chemo makes you fat either. Gained 20 lbs. ■■■■ it!!! Well, I guess it’s a given since you eat and sleep all the ■■■■ time because you are so tired.

September 27th is my last chemo treatment… for now. Next stop, removing both “girls”. I only have the demon living in my right “girl” but my surgeon agreed that it would be best to ease my anxiety and worry to have them both removed rather than removing the one and then me wondering if the other “girl” would get possessed too. So, sometime in November (I have to wait 4-6 weeks after my last chemo for my blood numbers to right themselves and my body to heal), they will be no more… but… BUT!.. I have a wonderful, sweet plastic surgeon who will give me some new ones!

I know this is long, but I hope that my cause will help someone else. I’m lucky to have a wonderful family who are supporting me behind the scenes. I’m thankful to all the Viki family who have sent me all those absolutely wonderful support messages. Y’all don’t know how much I appreciate them. Those days when I wander and lose a bit of hope, there is always that one beam of light that leads me out of the darkness of despair. Those little surprises I get in my mail from around the world, makes this little Texas girl feel super special.

I want all of us to feel that feeling of being loved and wanting to belong.

I’m not here for sympathy. I don’t need it. I just want to be that guiding force for someone who needs me. I want all of US to be there for that person. If there is someone who has a story, and you are willing to share it, please do.

There might be someone right now in the darkness of despair waiting for us to shine our light.

[bozoli]

Cancer is a topic everyone is familiar with to some degree.

I’m a researcher, used to have focus on breast cancer, but now I’m in gynecological cancer.

A friend my age (late 30ies back then) had a rare form of breast cancer on one side. Did double mastectomy with follow-up plastic surgery. She was so happy to do it this way because they did find something in the other breast, too. She got it all out and now goes to regular check-ups every 6 months. Yes, there is always that deep breath she takes in before she gets the results of the check-up. But she, her hubby and their two small kids are living their life as normally as they could despite everything. Largely because they have full trust in the healthcare system here.

[haksaeng1]

Sheree,
I can only express admiration and respect for your courage in telling your story to bring hope to others in the same situation.
Connie

[jadecloud88]

My dear Sheree, thank you for your courage in creating this thread. I’ve been quite inactive here on Viki lately and we’ve not been in the same English team for a long time. You’re one of the first few wonderful Viki contributors I’ve met and known. Your courage touched me on so many levels. You’re indeed a WARRIOR! Fight on and never give up! In this day and age, and not taking anything away (of what it all entails), your probability of winning this fight is higher than ever. My immediate neighbor, a close friend too, had just emerged from such a fight victorious and cancer-free. She was in a later stage when diagnosed. So I am very hopeful for you, Sheree. May God’s love and blessings be upon you too! I love you and appreciate you, Sheree. We, this Viki Family, love you and are with you in this fight. Heal soon. Get well sooner!

You’re right, and I agree, that there may be others lurking in the background, being very afraid, very silent, and very alone. My dear Viki Family, if that’s you or your loved one, know that we care and our thoughts and prayers are with you all.

[ajumma2]

Sheree,
I am so very sorry to hear about this. I can’t imagine the mental and physical turmoil you are in right now. I also know a couple breast cancer survivors, who went through similar process as you and they are both healthy and active now.
May you also come out of this fight victoriously and be an inspiration.

[bepina]

Sheree,
I wish you a speedy recovery (even though I know it might take a while) and lots and lots of drama done. I know you are a great fighter and I am sure you can overcome anything. I have a friend who suffers from this disease, while she was in the hospital her husband and their two children did not leave her room. She accepted the second treatment and is now feeling much better.
Thanks for sharing this story with us.

[irmar]

You may have noticed that there are few replies. It’s because most of us don’t know what are the right words to say, in those cases. The reason we don’t know what to say is not because we are not in your shoes (that too, obviously). But also because nowadays this touches us all, even if indirectly. It touches a raw spot. Each one of us has not some distant friend or friend’s relative, but at least one very close person who is battling cancer. It’s coming closer and closer, it’s closing in on us somehow. I have five close friends like that. Four of which are doing much much better, are now cancer-free and with all probability they are going to be all right. (My father’s wife also was a breast cancer survivor, she then passed away many years later from something else).
It’s an adventure one never forgets, to be sure, but I have seen these women slowly resume their daily life, with renewed gusto and love for each precious day. Always with a little trepidation in the background, but still…
As others have said, and as you know yourself, in this decade, more and more women are able to come out of it victoriously.
I remember, after getting out of the hospital where I was for 5 months because of covid (surely nothing comparable with your long ordeal, but still I did get to the very brink of death). How beautiful the sky looked, how fresh the leaves on the lemon trees, how precious and comforting the ugly concrete buildings. Everything was sparkling and new and wonderful to my eyes, like being reborn, and there was a rush of thankfulness. It’s not easy to explain to others, but it’s exhilarating.
So I, like everyone here, am waiting for the moment when you will tell us that you have finished with all of this, that it’s all over. That you can look back at it like a past nightmare that only made you stronger and you can again start to smile at the little things.
Oh, about the hair. I had lost about half of it, and in only two years the new hair has regrown to almost bra-strap length. Do expect it to be curly, though, even if it wasn’t before, LOL!

Lots of loving wishes travelling your way, all the way across the ocean. We come from different countries and different cultures, but in some things we are all the same.

[kakashiandme]

Those deep breaths haven’t gone away. Every CT, every x-ray, and soon the MRI will happen again for a progress check. These results will determine if I stay on chemo or progress to surgery.

[kakashiandme]

I KNOW there are others on Viki who have cancer or had cancer. I want them to share their stories if they can. I’ve met countless people in my community already who have had it or are like me on the journey. Knowing you have a companion with you makes the next steps not so scary.

[lyla]

@irmar

You may have noticed that there are few replies. It’s because most of us don’t know what are the right words to say, in those cases.

That’s so true!

The only thing I am able to say is that All of us Are Very Proud of your courage, endurance and will to fight.

Keep going, girl! You’re almost there! ^^

[kakashiandme]

That first week after I found out… Viki saved me. I was able to fully focus on Viki to keep the demons away. If I hadn’t had Viki to focus on, I really don’t know what I’d have done with myself.

As for this post, I didn’t want this to be about me. I just wanted to let those who are suffering, that they aren’t alone. No matter what type of cancer, there is someone who has walked their shoes, or there is someone walking in their shoes.

That first initial feeling, you drown. You are drowning. You can’t seem to understand the whys, whats, hows… I was there. But now, I’m no longer in that stage of hopelessness. All I can do is keep doing what all my doctors keep telling me to do.

[marykarmelina]

Dear Sheree, you are truly a gem! Even though you should be focused on your treatments, you are still thinking about us (vikiers). I just found out about this here (sorry I’m not active on Fb) You are always helping others here and there. You already earned my respect and admiration not only here on Viki but in real life too. You are definitely not alone in this. We are all sending you positive vibes and wishing you all the best! Fighting! And thank you for sharing with us your personal story!

[angelight313_941]

You are a warrior indeed. I took my time to look here a few minutes ago bc I haven’t been around for a while now and wanted to check how things were going along. I have to admit I was shocked to know you are going through this too. Cancer in my family is a given since most of my family has died from lung cancer, liver cancer, colon cancer, throat cancer (heavy smoker though). I have sat with some of them through long hours of chemo, the vomiting and other things chemo patients go through. My mom had breast cancer and was given a year to live and she’s going on remission for 20 something years now.

I wished she had made the WISE decision you made to remove both breast, and not just one breast because she has tormented herself and us (her daughters) by constantly going to Doctors to check that breast for any little lump she feels or rash although she has been in remission for so long now; the fear never goes away.

I’m also glad that science is so advanced now that patients don’t suffer as much as what they suffered in the past. My adopted son was diagnosed with cancer at 18, and they were able to make his pain more bearable compared to what I went through with my grandma (lung cancer) and mom. I can’t deny I go crazy from any little mole I see on him and take him to have a biopsy done. He had one recently and we are going to Memorial Sloan Kettering. Sorry like you I say the same thing is not about me, but about giving that support to others that might have gone or are going through the struggle with C.

I know one thing for sure each and every time I go to a Cancer Clinic or Hospital and see babies/toddlers/even newborn! with Cancer getting chemo I come home to scream and cry for hours bc if I don’t do that I know that my heart will burst. Is good to cry never hold it in bc you want to be strong WARRIORS cry too. Talk as much as you want to, and as much as ppl are willing to hear you bc is the best form of therapy you can give yourself. The best thing in this life is to have a supporting family, and I thank GOD you have that.

You are in my prayers, and your family. I know you will be a great example to so many out there suffering that need encouragement and support. But before I forget: no matter how young your girls are make sure you let them know how to do breast exam, and if they feel something no matter how small it may seem tell them to let you know. My youngest daughter had a mammogram at 25 bc she has a lot of small cyst (so they have to be checked) Now they do sonograms most recent one at 34 yrs old. All good so far.

[kakashiandme]

So, update…

The last week of October, my “girls” will be removed from my body. They did their job, out of 3 children, I breastfed one of them exclusively until she was 1.5 years old. (Now she is my future NASA/SpaceX scientist.)

Lots of worry. I won’t lie and say I’m scared to death. I’ve never had major surgery. But in a few weeks’ time, “girls” will be removed; and a week later, total breast reconstruction (this surgery could take 6-8 hours!!!)

Had the MRI and it said the demon shrunk 1 cm. I was a bit let down because I hoped it would be gone. At least the demon responded to the chemo and it was working.

I’m hopeful that in 6 months, I can proudly say that I’m a Breast Cancer survivor.

[mirjam_465]

[xialongne]

I wish you strength and perseverance through it all. You have been throughout this whole process; you could say you are nearing the end. Go for it! I’ve known you to be a strong woman, and look, you’ve overcome that too. Keep it up. Fighting!

[joicej]

Wish you strength to get through all of this… fighting

[irene06]

Dear Sheree,

I’m really sorry to hear this. I wish you strength, I believe you’ll get through this.

Earlier this year, my grandmother went through something similar. Her doctor thought it could be cancer, so she was sent to a bigger city for more tests. I live in a big city, but she’s from a village. Here, they did a biopsy and confirmed it was malignant. They said she needed surgery to remove her right breast. At first, they told us it was stage II, with a 3 cm tumor.

In March, she had the surgery, and they removed also 15 lymph nodes. After the histology report, we found out it was actually stage III C, with metastases in 15 out of 16 lymph nodes. It was really hard to hear.

I know this is not easy. I believe in your strength, and I’m sending you all my support. Take care of yourself and lean on your loved ones, we are all here for you.

Wishing you strength and better days ahead. Fighting!

[astralmaenad]

Sheree… Goodness. I myself have been gone for the past while due to worrisome health adventures and my heart dropped to read this thread. You are so strong, and you’ve come so far with kicking its ■■■. Thank you for sharing your story… You are not alone, and even through a screen from the other side of the world, I’m wishing you the best for a swift recovery after the demon is exorcised.

[simi11]

Dear Sheree, I’m somewhat shocked upon reading about your disease. I’m very sorry that you have to deal with this in your life. Many words I’m thinking people already said here like Irene. I just want to wish you lots of strength to fight it and to winging it. - You are right, some people do not want to tell others and are keeping it inside, which I think it’s not making it better. I feel sharing this burden gives one more support.

My mother had cervical cancer, she was the quiet one, not wanting sharing it and didn’t want to even remove her uterus that could have extended her life, only at later stage she decided for treatment but it was too late. I nursed her for 3 weeks at my place and she finally left me. I still struggle with her passing five years ago.

I’m sending you a virtual hug and tons of love, hang in there!!!
To you and all cancer patients I’m quoting the following: