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I need some advice


#21

Print these quotes or others and pin them somewhere you see them often, this will reinforce your confidence. Do NOT let someone drag you down so they can feel better about themselves. Good luck in decision making and stay strong :four_leaf_clover::four_leaf_clover::four_leaf_clover:


#22



#23

The truth is that this friend of yours has some issues that they need to first solve, either on their own or with the help of others, like a counsellor.
As a friend, you could suggest that. But since your relationship doesn’t seem to be on even ground, maybe you should just cool it off, you know, until your friend realises that a genuine change is in order.


#24

Your words really helped. Yes, I have been noticing things now when she had done all of this in past and will continue to do in the future. Thank you! I will make sure to do so.:blush:


#25

I thought at least I should consider my past 3 years with her. Is she the same person? no. Will she change? idk and idc anymore. Anyways Thanks a lot for your advice😊


#26

I have been living my life thinking these kinds of thoughts. Even if I cut my ties with her, will she ever realize her mistakes? I don’t think so. So I wanted to make a better choice by cutting off her from life and making her realize what wrongs she did…


#27

I know I will. Thank you!:blush:


#28

I will. Thanks!!:blush::heart:


#29

She kind of did have. But it was in past and i gave her alot of advices. Ig she did not heal from her wounds? as i thought


#30

I’ve been in a similar situation where my only friend was the one hurting me most but I was scared to leave her because I didn’t want to be alone.

Just remember that you can’t really change anyone. Stop compromising with her, and don’t take her excuses. Don’t feel like everything is your fault.

It’s terribly hard to leave someone knowing you’ve literally shared life for almost four years. Cutting ties isn’t easy. I think you should tell her exactly what you’re feeling. And then slowly start finding new friends. Talk to other people. Dilute that one-on-one thing you had with her by making new friendships. Your new friends won’t be very close to you all of a sudden, but it will help take some of the hurt away.

She might turn around one day and apologize. You can choose to forgive her, but please don’t decide to be BFFs again. It will only hurt you more.

On Friendship Day, thank her for all the times you had with her. And don’t look back.

Lastly, here’s a hug :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:


#31

The past can have “long arms” and still got a hold on you, when you went already past it, or just ignore it.
People with wounds tend to have those people around them, they know can make their lives “easier”. Then you might turn into a pillar for her, and she may not want to lose you.
This can result in pushing people around you away, you are her pillar. Sharing in her mind might not be caring but losing. This is a sensitive matter, so be careful @adrianmorales might be right here, it could also be more than you can handle, as we don’t know, and you shouldn’t tell us here in the open about the details of her issues. Hope you find a way for you both without creating more emotional scars. All the best.


#32

So you are saying that she suddenly became mean only recently, when in the past she was good?

No, you clearly said that all this time she dated all the men around you, and then, a few months ago, she explained why she has been doing this all those three years. She had jealousy and spite and wanted to make you feel lonely since the very first day.


#33

I recently read something about self esteem that’s a companion of self- love.

First, everyone needs to love oneself before being able to love others. That also means that you can find everything you need within yourself, never outside from another person and then you’ll drag those into your life who have the same frequency as yourself and are able to value you.
In this text was also written that people should stop being someone else’s “emotional therapist” in a personal relationship because it’s not “your job”.

Besides if you get along well with your male friends for what do you need a female friend when she’s not sincere and respectful?

All the best :blossom:


#34

Thank you! Hope youre okay too!:blush:


#35

No, I didn’t mean that. I meant I’m starting to feel that she changed. Although she was like that from the beginning. She dated my ex’s which I didn’t care about that much cause we were just friends at that time. But now she started dating my guy BFFs. I don’t know what to say her anymore. @lutra I told her about it. She didn’t wanna talk. Instead started blaming me for bringing it up again. I tried to be the person to try to understand this friendship but she didn’t.
Now I just gave up…
It hurts so much💔
Anyways thank you both for your advice!


#37

Everything has already been said :slight_smile:

So I wish you from the bottom of my heart, That you will get through this path with all the problems and the pain…:heart:
You can do it :star_struck:

I think almost everyone knows a friend who behaved like that… Beasts don’t change :partying_face:


#38

If that can help you (it may look like a déjà vu):

What she says:
“I think the most important thing you can do when you’re in a toxic friendship, or you’re worried you might be in one is to give the other person a chance to fix things. Have a hard conversation. It sucks, but communicate.
And their response to your needs and your feelings, how well they hear you and adjust their behavior, or not, is gonna be the information you need to determine if this friendship can be salvaged, or if it’s better for both of you to just disengage.”

Then, she has also has a video to promote self-worth and love yourself with practical tips / exercises.
Some ppl might have high tolerance towards this toxicity or let some things slide at the expense of their own well-being, because they’re used to get that kind of treatment or they had worst or they haven’t set their boundaries or because of their fear of loneliness, which attracts or maintains toxic relationships/friendships:

Then, another one I would recommend is about the fear of loneliness.
If you are afraid of losing this friendship:

The period where you won’t be with that person could be the period where you will grow and state your boundaries for healthier relationships/friendships.


#39

I hope you got everything straightened out


#40

thanks. It did