Although repetitive and potentially confusing, the presub seems grammatically sound except possibly missing a comma after the first to do.
What it should have been from the presub and editing with similar wording:
How should I do a better job and attract more fans?
worthy romance changed to do a better job into produce a better job which makes it seem like the speaker is producing (i.e. creating) jobs. While the sub rightfully moved away from to do to do, a new confusion was introduced.
That edit should have been something like:
How should I produce better results and attract more fans?
That’s my suggestion, if one insists on using produce in that sentence. Should vs. shall should be looked at.
Everyone has room for improvement.