Why do you have to struggle with that? Itās the woman who gives birth to the child, so itās very likely that she gets stuck with it when the guy had his fun and then left. Even in a divorce situation, most courts will give a young child under ten to the mother to raise.
The fact is that being a single parent is always looked at as a negative thing in Korea. Three possibilities, ranked from better to worse
- You are a widow with a child. Not your fault your husband died, you were legal, but still not easily marriageable, especially if you want to keep your child with you.
- You are a divorcee with a child. Partly your fault, at least you did marry legally, but you wonāt be considered as a potential bride in any respectable family. Youāre āused goodsā. And the man will say āIām not confident I can raise someone elseās childā
- You were never married and yet had a child out of wedlock. This is the worst. In Western societies they are also viewed with prejudice by many.
Thus we see in dramas women who re-marry (or just marry another man), tucking the child in the countryside, or they go abroad with the new husband, leaving the child to be raised by her parents or siblings like in āWeightlifting Fairy, Kim Bok Jooā. Or putting the child in an orphanage (like in āHer Private Lifeā).
The new husband may or may not know about the child, but it is considered āthe obvious thingā that heās marrying her without her baggage, and itās okay as long as heās not required to also raise āsomebody elseās childā!!!
This is the reason for so many abandoned children. You may like to watch the video about that priest who has made a baby box for the women to put the baby in. Here and here a more recent update.
In other dramas they try to avoid the issue by having the child happily studying in the US with her aunt, and not even wanting to come back. Very convenient. We saw this in āMadame Antoineā and āRomance is a bonus bookā, where the daughter studying in America was completely forgotten in the second half of the drama and nobody even mentioned her anymore.
This said, we have seen similar discrimination when itās the man who has a child, hidden or not.
The existence of the child sometimes is not known to him, as in āGentlemanās Dignityā. His lady lover leaves him when she discover this, although the child is happily living in Japan with his mother and is already 20 years old, so she wonāt have to āraiseā him. And he totally understands it, he finds it normal! Probably itās normal for the audience as well.
Or he is a single father who was abandoned by the childās mother, like the romantic pharmacist in āOne Spring Nightā.