Why is dating such a huge scandal in Korea? :(

Is it only among celebrities? I hope though so…
This mindset doesn’t come up because of Kdramas btw :stuck_out_tongue:
At some point I find myself browsing articles about certain Korean related topics and it seems like it’s tremendously stressful for them to admit that they’re dating or more so have fallen in love.
I haven’t really mingled with Korean culture that much, I do find them very descent and well-mannered.
I’ve dated just one Korean guy in my life once upon a time (lol) and he is typically just like one of those fictitious character on kdramas, such confidence yet hesitant, mysterious but charming, courageous yet sweet.
Do they tend to hold back their feelings so badly that rather gives you the wrong impression?
Aha! quarantine and kdramas are nostalgic :smiley:


From what my Korean acquaintances have told me, they tend to be reserved in expressing feelings in public etc.
But dating as a huge scandal in the case of celebrities is a different matter. It comes from the delusional young Asian fans, who think of their idols as their property, and love to fantasize about them and dream of a fictional day when they would be able to be in a relationship with them. Although they rationally know that this won’t ever happen, fantasy is fantasy, right?
And for fantasy to work, the object of their desire has to be single. You can’t very well fantasize that Prince Charming will meet you one day while shopping and you will start exchanging letters and eventually start dating, if you know he’s got a wife and kids, or even a girlfriend.
If you go to some of those online places, and even here in the Timed Comments, you will see fans referring to some male celebrities as “my husband So-And-So”.
Thus if news of any sort of relationship comes out, they start boycotting that person, not buying tickets for concerts, now paying for downloads of new songs, not going to fanmeets (a huge source of income, since you have to carry proof that you have bought X number of the star’s items, be it CDs or whatever) etc.
A huge loss of income for the company. That’s why many companies have a no-scandal agreement when signing a contract. It’s not that they are not dating, but they have to do it secretly, going to great lengths to conceal it. Or they don’t really have a normal relationship, but have to resort to prostitutes or to occasional meetings at bars and fanmeets, especially when abroad, when the press is not so tight around them.
It’s a miserable life for those young people who are in the supposed best years of their lives. Yes, they have fame and money, and they get to do the job they love, but at what a price! That’s why, if and when they marry, they do so after they are 32-35, when their heyday is gone anyway.
If they are actors, and the public knows they are “taken”, people start to bash them for having love scenes with their fellow actor. If they are married, even worse.
I remember in “While You Were Sleeping”, every time there was flirting and or kissing between Lee Yeong Seok and Suzy, the comments went “Where are you Lee Min Ho?” Well, Suzy and Lee Min Ho broke up just afterwards, so, there! I wanted to ask those commenters, “Are you happy now?”
And in “Legend of the Blue Sea”, the female lead, Jun Ji-hyun, had been married for a year and had just given birth to a baby. So the kisses with Lee Min Ho were wooden, static and really lame. Still people in the comments always mentioned her husband (“Ah, he shouldn’t watch this!”.The kiss sector was so bad and everyone complained so much that after a while, to save the situation, they arranged for a French kiss in bed. Which was terribly awkward. Lee Min Ho was going on passionately about it, with his usual professionalism, and she stood there motionless, looking at the ceiling with the expression of a martyr. If she had responded to the kiss normally, people would bash her because she is a wife now. You can’t win!
Another such instance was “Encounter”, with Song Hye-kyo and Park Bo-gum. She was, at the time, still married with Song Joong-ki. I had to delete countless Timed Comments in that vein: “Where are you, Song Joong-ki, to see your friend Park Bo-gum making out with your wife?” I’m talking about dozens, in EVERY freaking episode! The most bland of them said “Isn’t it super-awkward, knowing that the two men are friends in real life? I feel bad for her husband”.

It’s really sad and even more upsetting than sad. But that’s how a large chunk of the population thinks. This is the reason why people announcing a relationship or a marriage (at the very last moment, when it’s already been found out, or when they have already tied the knot!) have to present a handwritten apology letter to their fans, promising to be better in the future!


How frustrating indeed. In the kind of industry they are in, when couples are together, fans want them to break-up, however, if they’re not dating yet, everyone wants them to be a real-life couple!


:hushed: That is cruel, But sometimes it is bad how the marketing works…

Many of the celebrities, all over the world, are treated so badly, so that everyone can earn a lot of money…

But I found the whole “private films” with the little nephews and nieces really bad, how great celebrities can deal with children ??
It is just terrifying…


I feel sorry for the celebs really. Last year I went to a concert of Eric Nam and there where seriously girls who shouted they wanted his baby, spend the night together and Eric laughed it off telling fans to behave and that his concert was for all ages. He also apologized for those fans behavior. There was a dad with his daughter standing next to me and I wondered what went through the mind of all the parents in the audience when people started to shout such things.

Personally I can’t wait for some idols to start dating (if they don’t do that already) and have children if they want them. But every time I hear dating news and news about break ups I also think that’s none of my business why should the management even file statements regarding that?!


Fans can be terribly cruel. Idols and actors are human beings, not cardboard cutouts. The industry really shouldn’t cater to that kind of negative fandom. I am surprised the suicide rate isn’t higher with that kind of horrendous fandom pressure. That is an incredible amount of stress for any person to have to endure. It needs to stop.


That is a miserable life - losing income because you fell in love, that is the biggest irony… I may be a fangirl but I feel like their private lives are their business not mine so I don’t really want to know. I just want to enjoy their craft and root for them in all aspects of their life.


If only all of them felt the same way as you do, the problem wouldn’t exist.


Sometimes I can only shake my head, just read a few comments and what else can I say :neutral_face:

:thinking:We have a saying that is known to everyone in the world… :grin:
When you have friends like that, you no longer need enemies :pensive:
Friends = Fans…
Then it is the same destruction, probably a wonderful character… :pensive:

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This type of fangirling is shown well in Her Private Life. Also, anyone paying close enough attention to any K-pop drama will notice the difficulties a celebrity encounters and explains why the fans act as they do. Usually, they are on point and honest. I must say, I thought your description of this issue was well composed and expressed. I am sure many will appreciate your effort.


:kr: Somewhat of a snail’s :snail: progress. :kr: