This is so perfect for Trekkies, and I am one from way back!
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They are looking for you, 
they circled back, realizing you stayed back on earth, after that last vacation trip.
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As someone who hates swearing in TV and film even if it reflects reality and who used to swear like an Irish navy (until the missus “conditioned” 
me to stop with electro shock therapy after our first born) it flew a bit close to the wind even for me even though it was self censuring and you would have to know naughty words and western media context to understand the joke.
I thought it was really clever in the way it delivered two punchline in one go in the sketch.
Still, I’m going to clean up to uphold my Victorian standards (for Queen and Country! 
) and not because the missus might bring out the King George speech therapy SWR501 ™ taser again. 
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If he’s obsessed with toes, then he’s mad upset to find a big toe talking to him!
Uprighthealth
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A woman ran a red traffic light and crashed into a man’s
car. Both of their cars are demolished but amazingly
neither of them was hurt.
After they crawled out of their cars, the woman said, "Wow,
just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but
fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God
that we should meet and be friends and live together in
peace for the rest of our days."
The man replied, "I agree with you completely. This must be
a sign from God!"
The woman continued, "And look at this, here’s another
miracle. My car is completely demolished, but my bottle of
wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine
and celebrate our good fortune." Then she hands the bottle
to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, drinks half
the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman
takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and
hands it back to the man.
The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
She replies, “Nah. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”
Men will never learn.
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Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) Tweeted:
Mother: This is the last time I show you how to go down…
Son:
https://t.co/KJFaqJXq8M https://twitter.com/buitengebieden/status/1560044645131976704?s=20&t=a2z4f4-vtGfNembSs2HGEA
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I had also a hard time to open my cat’s jaw also for meds (was long time ago). He hated it.
@frustratedwriter Mary, I always have duct tape supply, it’s really handy. Except it didn’t stick very long on flat plastic when I fixed the seams on my small green house, perhaps the heat had an influence but I had it outside early summer when it wasn’t that hot.
2 months ago, the management company sent out a company for geo testing, this young man had to take samples from walls and ceilings to test because next year this building will be “tossed”, so since it will create dust, they need to know what material is in it.
So after hammering about palm size parts, he just used white duct tape to cover it up… I have several holes with duct tape and so far no word if the owners will fix or properly cover it.
The walls and ceilings aren’t made with sheetrock but bricks and plaster over it, so the paint is very chalky and the duct tape won’t hold very long. 
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more about our furry friends
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Lovely morning laughs. Thank you.
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heres another and ,well, for us crocheters
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‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’‘’
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Don’t laugh too hard at this humor, but this eagle pays to fly on airplanes. 
He also books hotel rooms too!
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being we all watch what we eat, thought this one was quite funny and btw, well you can see for yourself
pppssssttttt answers
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- In these weight loss pictures it is never the same person.This is how they think that we are being tricked into buying their products.
- got a tan
2 lost the weight & tattoo
3 not the same person
and of course theres more, but I am sharing this for it being kinda funny
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