Ok, thanks. I figure you might have an idea what is going through her mind that we canât reach a level of communication with her at this moment.
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Hi again @angelight313_168.
I just wanted to let you know that I havenât forgotten about my promise to you. Iâve now finished my commitments and Iâll reply to you first thing when I awaken in the morning. Itâs now 1:30 a.m. for me and Iâm pretty tired.
Kind regards,
Manganese
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Donât worry take your time and rest. Sweet dreams.
Good things come to those who wait. I know coming from experience whatever you write; will help understand many things and see the light at the end of this tunnel.
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Personally, I donât care, I tend to watch what ever the case and be able to understand the emotions. I think the problem is that we have marginalized groups etc and thus may need role models, the issue rather is that you canât have who ever as your role model that you admire. Though I personally internalize my issues more that externalize, so I donât have or have had role models. So I welcome these sorts of BL/GL etc dramas and recognize their value for some, but think their need is sad. They should just be a normal thing.
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Below are some thoughts. I sincerely hope that they give some added insight to you and your family.
Your sisterâs problem with her granddaughter is a tough one. It is important for your sister to accept and to embrace the fact that her granddaughter likes females and not think that âitâs just a stage sheâs going through.â As I mentioned in my post that started the thread, I was 12-13 years old when I realised I found the same sex attractive. Though I tried to change that many times over the years, it didnât work. Decades later, I still like men. Itâs who I am.
Throughout my life, Iâve always kept a few âsayingsâ in mind that have shaped the way I face the turmoils that come with living. Some of these sayings areâŚ
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Actions speak louder than words.
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Do it now.
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I canât change the way people think. I can only change the way I think.
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Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay. (This last one is from the Dalai Lama.)
My advice comes from the perspective of these life philosophies of mine.
Rather than trying to reason with her granddaughter, I encourage your sister to do some homework in relation to Black Pink. Read about: [a] their history and how they came together as a group; [b] what countries the singers are from; [c] what their most successful songs are; etc. I also encourage her to watch some YouTube clips of Black Pink singing and dancing. Your sister doesnât have to like Black Pink but it would be great if she can develop a respect for them.
When your sister has a little bit of knowledge about Black Pink, she can then talk to her granddaughter about a topic that her granddaughter holds dear to her heart. (Having something in common to discuss is a really good starting point for mending problems.) Also, when your sister talks to her daughter (the granddaughterâs mother), make sure she talks on speaker-phone so that the granddaughter can hear it. Tell your sister to have a Black Pink song playing in the background while sheâs talking. Maybe her granddaughter will hear this and will think positive thoughts about her grandmother. It will help.
June is âPride Month.â This means that there will be a number of LGBTQ+ events happening in many countries. Have a look on the internet to see if things are happening in your area. If they are, arrange a family outing. Doing this shows that everyone accepts your sisterâs granddaughter for who she is. Donât make a big thing about it, and treat the fact that she likes girls the same as if she told you her favourite colour is purple. Itâs just a fact of life and nothing to get upset about.
LGBTQ+ communities often have people to talk to who can give families ideas on how to cope. I suggest that your sister have a look around to see if there is a group of mums and dads of gay people. There often is. Itâs good to talk to others who have been on a similar journey and have reached the other side of the stormy seas. There are also many YouTube clips of parents of gay children. These are valuable to watch. I just came across the one below and thought it might help give a different way of looking at things. Reading the comments below the clips also helps a great deal.
I hope these thoughts help.
Manganese.
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Wow all this suggestion are wonderful. I will send my sister all this information, and I hope she looks into trying all these wonderful suggestions. I know about BlackPink girls, but not enough to start a conversation about them; so Iâm also going to learn more about them in the hopes that I can communicate more with her. She knows I like Asian dramas/movies and know some korean words, but she thinks bc I tried to stay out of it, that I sided with my sister when in reality since she was suicidal I was terrified to even talk to her. I, for other reasons did try to commit suicide but sadly when I saw her condition (physical) I just froze and called my sister crying and thatâs when she tried with no success to convince her that she loves her just the same but it hasnât worked so far.
Thank you so much and Iâm going to watch the video now.
PS. The video is gold . I absorbed every word she said, and cried when she wanted to cry. Sheâs everything a parent should be supportive, loving and so blessed to be in that childâs life. Iâm sending this videoâs link to my sisâŚ
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I totally agree. Whether a person is straight or LGBTQ+ will be normal one day. The world is not quite there yet, though. With each year that passes, things seem to get a little closer to such a day.
Iâve just been involved with helping out with subs on the Japanese movie âHis.â This movie shows a few of the struggles that LGBTQ+ people face. It is a really heart-warming journey. There are also some heart-wrenching moments so if you decide to watch it, keep some Kleenex tissues nearby. You will probably need them. Itâs a beautiful story and it deserves its 9.5 rating.
UPDATE: Director Rikiya IMAIZUMI won NIPPON CINEMA AWARD 2021 for the movie âhisâ !
Some people prefer to watch the 5-part series first. This is the prequel that leads to the movie. The movie is self-contained and it still makes perfect sense without watching the background series. This background series is also excellent story telling and provides insight into how Nagisa and Shun met.
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UPDATE:
My sister and her granddaughter spend quality time together, and Iâm over the moon with happiness.
She didnât revealed (talked) too much but at least we know sheâs stable. Thank you so much!
Sheâs back to school (summer), and looks gorgeous! Got over her such long distant and impossible? infatuation, and hopefully will find someone closer to her that can share beautiful days together.
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Iâm so glad to hear that those immense hurdles have been jumped and things are settling down. Thank you so much for letting me know. One of the most difficult parts is out of the way now.
May good things continue to come your familyâs way!
Manganese
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I also participated in the translation of the film âHisâ. It is really a beautiful film. It made me think of
which also shows a few of the struggles that LGBTQ+ people face.
I am not gay. Iâm a mom of four and GL/BL dramas are a way for me to learn more about the community LGBTQ+ . I hope that if one of my children is gay they wonât be afraid to tell me.
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Hi @anne_21,
I havenât seen the Directorâs Cut of this show. Iâve read reviews and everyone recommends it over the series (which I loved). This is a very well written and well presented drama in every way. The scene with Ito Akiraâs parents is really authentic. It can take years to get up the courage to tell your family that youâre gay (even though theyâve probably suspected it for a long time).
From the sound of your message, Iâm pretty sure that your children wonât have any problems. If âgayâ is not an issue for you, it wonât be an issue for them, either.
Thanks for reminding me about the Directorâs Cut! Iâll watch it in the next couple of days 
All the best,
Manganese
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Directorâs Cut is almost like the series but there are a few more scenes that make the film happier and warmer.
I also thought that if being gay wasnât a problem for the parents, the kids would be fine, but itâs not that simple. I have a friend whose daughter was not well so she suggested her to go to a psychiatrist. She found out that her daughter was unwell because she didnât dare tell her that she was gay. She thought her daughter knew that it was okay for them. That she had told her enough, but that wasnât the case.
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I wonder if these links could be merged?
Itâs a different topic. Sure, itâs both related to BLs, but other than that, theyâre not the same.
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Few years ago, I watched the film Pride
with my children
I did it in purpose but one of their questions surprised me. Itâs about AIDS : they asked me why the didnât use condoms. It was hard for them to understand that at the time of the film nothing was known about AIDS.
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I havenât seen this film. It looks interesting. I clearly remember the early 1980s when AIDS first came into the world. It was very scary. Interestingly, itâs a zoonotic like COVID. At the time, they anticipated that it would take 30 years to develop a vaccine for AIDS. So far they havenât been successful but at least it can be controlled today so that people live long and well.
Itâs fantastic that your children are comfortable talking with you about AIDS/HIV and condoms. A lot of parents find those topics uncomfortable. It seems to me that youâve already opened important doorways of conversation with your sons and daughters. These doorways will be a tremendous asset for both you and them in years to come.
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Ha ha. This brought back memories! Me and the kids sitting at the kitchen table with cucumbers and different kinds of condoms. They still cringe when they remember that educational session. However, I hope it was useful to them later on.
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Iâm not comfortable with these topics. We donât talk about it much. Movies are a good way to open my children to the world.
My mother did the same with me. We saw at the theater:
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
High heels
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Hi Irmar
I 
this comment. When I read it I had this image in my head of a packet of condoms, a few cucumbers, a mum and some sons and daughters. It was the highlight of my day! I have no doubt whatsoever that your children would have benefited greatly from this. Iâm pretty sure theyâll take the lesson to their own children as well. Good on you for being upfront and tackling such a difficult topic. In this day and age of HIV and other STDs, condoms are still the best protection and, as they say, âforewarned is forearmed.â
Thanks for sharing your story,
Mn
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Hi Anne,
Personally, I donât think that itâs necessary to feel comfortable. Theyâre incredibly embarrassing topics and can be quite confronting to talk to children about. Showing acceptance of gender diversity (through actions) and being prepared to listen when needed are the two most valuable traits a parent can have, I reckon.
Iâve noticed recently that in a couple of BL shows, sexual health has been included in the story-line. This is a good thing.
One such show is âMy Gear And Your Gownâ from Thailand. Iâd rate the show as suitable for 15+ years of age. It covers coming-out, parental acceptance, bisexual relationships, gay relationships, heterosexual relationships, friendship, romance, gender diversity and sexual health. Itâs quite a charming series without being overly dramatic.
If you want to get some ideas on how to address any of the above topics just in case the need ever arises with your own children, this show is valuable viewing.
Regards,
Mn
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