🌈 BL & GL dramas do more than just entertain

General Discussion
1

However I look at them, Boys’ Love (BL) and Girls’ Love (GL) dramas matter. Because they deal with same-sex relationships, they belong under the LGBTQIA umbrella. Viki has these two genre classifications.

The below is written from the perspective of a gay male. From speaking to lesbian friends and watching “coming out” clips on YouTube, though, my experiences seem to be paralleled by some gay females.

When I was a 12/13-year-old boy, the thought appeared in my head one day that I found guys attractive. It just happened. Even now I remember that moment vividly. That set me on a journey of trying to understand myself. Firstly, I went to the bible. In there I discovered that I was an “abomination.” That worried me greatly. The information, however, led me to reflect on why I was made if I was made so wrongly. As a boy on the cusp of his teenage years, I was ill-equipped to handle the heaviness of being a homosexual so I tried not to think about it too much.

After reading the bible, I knew that I couldn’t talk to anyone about my confusions. I was aware that the minute I did, people would look at me strangely and I was worried about what might happen. So I kept quiet. I was all by myself inside my head and struggling. (As it turned out, it would be 20–30 years before I learnt to like myself. Fortunately, I didn’t know that then.)

Had BLs been around in my formative teenage years, I would have had role models to show me how to be a productive and successful gay man. The shows would have also helped me realise that it’s OK to be gay. Even now, a number of decades later, I feel comforted when I watch BLs and see the level of acceptance that gay and trans folk enjoy. I know they’re dramas and that they don’t necessarily reflect real-life, but the fact that they are available worldwide on streaming services such as Viki and Netflix authenticates that being gay is not such a bad thing. This is reinforced by the positivity that radiates from so many BLs. Such acceptance and positivity soothe the often-damaged psyche of LGBTQ+ people who watch these shows.

I have no doubt at all that today’s LGBTQ+ young people—and equally important, their families—will be so much better off because BLs/GLs have been a major step forward when it comes to appreciating and understanding the diversity of gender identity.

What I like about well-planned BLs/GLs is that they provide gay people with positive and useful strategies for navigating life and for affirming homosexuality. These strategies include things like: [a] coming out to family and friends; [b] sexual health; [c] how to express a romantic interest in someone without causing offence; [d] how to cope with rejection; [e] how to deal with those who hate gays and trans people; [f] how to be romantic.

For me, personally, had BLs been around in my time, I would have asked mum and dad to sit down with me and watch SOTUS, Gaya Sa Pelikula, Gameboys or Tonhon Chonlatee—or something similar—so that they could get some insight into what it means to be gay and how to be the parents of a gay son. There are many things in BLs that help gay teenage guys and their families settle into accepting themselves and one another.

I would seriously love to hear other opinions on BLs and GLs.

Thank you for reading :grinning:
Manganese

12 Likes
2

But there aren’t too many GL series. I have seen a GL movie once.

2 Likes
3

Hi paperboats.

As I understand it, and I might be wrong, the GL classification is relatively new. I’ve only seen it around in the last 12 months or so on websites. On older websites, these shows would most likely be located under Gay or LGBTQ or Lesbian.

Here on Viki, there are two GL shows at


https://www.viki.com/explore?genre=gl&sort=all_time

Last year, The IdeaFirst Company in the Philippines produced a GL spin-off from their highly successful Gameboys. This spin-of is called Pearl Next Door and is freely available on YouTube.

Viet Nam is also starting to venture into BL/GL dramas. Sometime BL and GL stories are combined within a single drama. These are also usually freely available on YouTube.

You might want to check these out.

Regards,
Manganese

6 Likes
4

@manganese was it you in another thread (I can’t seem to remember which) that was talking about LGBTQ+ people sometimes denying they’re in a relationship because it feels too soon for the topic of their sexual orientation to come up?

I’ve just started watching SOTUS S and when one of Arthit’s colleague asks if he has someone to cook for him, you can see how uncomfortable he is at that moment. It made me think of that comment. It’s very interesting/thought provoking how, what I’d think of as a simple get to know you question, & wouldn’t think twice about answering, could be so uncomfortable for someone else.

2 Likes
5

Hi @sweetybirdtoo.

I don’t recall talking specifically about “denying being in a relationship” in a thread, but it is most definitely true. For many LGBT+ people, coming out to others is incredibly hard. Some people even get kicked out of home and lose friends and family because of it. In South Korea, for example, people can lose jobs if some bosses find out that employees are gay. The 4-minute YouTube clip below gives a little bit of insight into some of the struggles of LGBT+ folk.

One of the worst things that a friend or an acquaintance of an LGBT+ person can do is to tell others about that person’s sexual orientation before the LGBT+ person is ready for others to learn about it.

When someone who is not widely known to be LGBT+ comes out and says that they’re not heterosexual, it is a huge compliment to the person that he or she is telling. By coming out to someone, the LGBT+ person is placing his or her complete confidence and trust in the person being told. The best thing that anyone who has LGBT+ friends can do is not to divulge anyone’s sexuality without permission. If in doubt, ask the LGBT+ person if she or he minds if you say anything to others, and respect the LGBT+ person’s yes or no answer.

I love SOTUS and SOTUS S. They are two really touching series with lots of good lessons for everyone. Kongpob is the king of romance!

In SOTUS S, I felt so sorry for Arthit. I could relate to his struggle 100%. Deep within the workings of many gay people is a belief that they are broken or that they are not quite “normal”. It’s a wound that often doesn’t fully heal. If they can keep that wound hidden from the public, though, and only close friends or family know about it and accept it, it’s OK. A lot of gay people find it really, really hard learning to like themselves.

In other words, asking someone if they are gay—before that person has fully come to terms with it himself or herself—could cause emotional issues for the person you’re asking because that person might still be processing it all and is not yet ready to acknowledge it.

Sorry for writing so much.

I hope these thoughts help a bit.
Manganese.

6 Likes
6

It’s so sad when a person/child does come out and all hell breaks loose causing pain, confusion, and even distancing between family members. My niece; her 12 year old firstborn child decided to declare her love for one of the Asian group; Pink girls. My poor sister took it hard and send her a comment via FB (where the little girl posted her love and wanting to marry the girl) My siter wrote: ‘‘You are only 12, you still don’t even know how to clean you butt right’’ (it’s a Puertorican saying) ‘‘much less know what you like or don’t like.’’

I know my poor sister was totally taken by surprise, and was embarrassed that her co workers at Motor Vehicle would see this on her FB page. I called her up, and told her to delete the comment and block her if she didn’t wanted her friends to see that bc that would just create conflict between her and her first granddaughter. Well
 the granddaughter doesn’t want to know about her now, and says her grandma hates her for liking girls.

My sister has tried in every way to make up for what she did, but the little girl is a bit stubborn too. My sister bought her a bedroom set, drove for 13 hours to bring it to her room, and even bought her daughter (my niece) a car, and the young girl won’t forgive her. The worse part this child has turned to skin and bones with her obsession with one of the Pink girls (I don’t know which one) and is sad that no matter what we try she just won’t have it. I tried to explain to her why my sister reacted that way but she didn’t care.

The girl is receiving counseling and hopefully she can one day understand the whole situation and learn to forgive my sister bc I know it wasn’t meant the way she saw the whole thing. I always think before I open my mouth/write, but my sister is All the contrary. I keep away bc I really don’t know what to say or do w/o the 12 year old overreacting and my niece (her mom) is no help either.

My sister by saying that never meant that she didn’t accepted her, but just that she was too young to be dealing with ‘‘being in love’’ at such a young age. She added to concentrate on her studies etc
She can’t go to school bc she gets bullied a lot and the system Board Of Ed are not much help either. I do a lot of praying and hope everything gets resolved soon. She used to have suicidal thoughts but thankfully she’s just planning her wedding with that one girl from the Pink group.

4 Likes
7

Hi @angelight313_168.

This is such a heart-breaking story. I really feel for you, your sister and her family. I will write a longer reply because I have some ideas that might be useful to you all. At the moment, though, I’m caught up. As soon as I finish in the next day or so, I promise to return to this thread and to answer your post in detail.

Your sincerely,
Manganese

3 Likes
8

Ok, thanks. I figure you might have an idea what is going through her mind that we can’t reach a level of communication with her at this moment.

2 Likes
9

Hi again @angelight313_168.

I just wanted to let you know that I haven’t forgotten about my promise to you. I’ve now finished my commitments and I’ll reply to you first thing when I awaken in the morning. It’s now 1:30 a.m. for me and I’m pretty tired.

Kind regards,
Manganese

1 Like
10

Don’t worry take your time and rest. Sweet dreams.

Good things come to those who wait. I know coming from experience whatever you write; will help understand many things and see the light at the end of this tunnel.

1 Like
11

Personally, I don’t care, I tend to watch what ever the case and be able to understand the emotions. I think the problem is that we have marginalized groups etc and thus may need role models, the issue rather is that you can’t have who ever as your role model that you admire. Though I personally internalize my issues more that externalize, so I don’t have or have had role models. So I welcome these sorts of BL/GL etc dramas and recognize their value for some, but think their need is sad. They should just be a normal thing.

2 Likes
12

Hi @angelight313_168

Below are some thoughts. I sincerely hope that they give some added insight to you and your family.

Your sister’s problem with her granddaughter is a tough one. It is important for your sister to accept and to embrace the fact that her granddaughter likes females and not think that “it’s just a stage she’s going through.” As I mentioned in my post that started the thread, I was 12-13 years old when I realised I found the same sex attractive. Though I tried to change that many times over the years, it didn’t work. Decades later, I still like men. It’s who I am.

Throughout my life, I’ve always kept a few “sayings” in mind that have shaped the way I face the turmoils that come with living. Some of these sayings are


  1. Actions speak louder than words.

  2. Do it now.

  3. I can’t change the way people think. I can only change the way I think.

  4. Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay. (This last one is from the Dalai Lama.)

My advice comes from the perspective of these life philosophies of mine.

Rather than trying to reason with her granddaughter, I encourage your sister to do some homework in relation to Black Pink. Read about: [a] their history and how they came together as a group; [b] what countries the singers are from; [c] what their most successful songs are; etc. I also encourage her to watch some YouTube clips of Black Pink singing and dancing. Your sister doesn’t have to like Black Pink but it would be great if she can develop a respect for them.

When your sister has a little bit of knowledge about Black Pink, she can then talk to her granddaughter about a topic that her granddaughter holds dear to her heart. (Having something in common to discuss is a really good starting point for mending problems.) Also, when your sister talks to her daughter (the granddaughter’s mother), make sure she talks on speaker-phone so that the granddaughter can hear it. Tell your sister to have a Black Pink song playing in the background while she’s talking. Maybe her granddaughter will hear this and will think positive thoughts about her grandmother. It will help.

June is “Pride Month.” This means that there will be a number of LGBTQ+ events happening in many countries. Have a look on the internet to see if things are happening in your area. If they are, arrange a family outing. Doing this shows that everyone accepts your sister’s granddaughter for who she is. Don’t make a big thing about it, and treat the fact that she likes girls the same as if she told you her favourite colour is purple. It’s just a fact of life and nothing to get upset about.

LGBTQ+ communities often have people to talk to who can give families ideas on how to cope. I suggest that your sister have a look around to see if there is a group of mums and dads of gay people. There often is. It’s good to talk to others who have been on a similar journey and have reached the other side of the stormy seas. There are also many YouTube clips of parents of gay children. These are valuable to watch. I just came across the one below and thought it might help give a different way of looking at things. Reading the comments below the clips also helps a great deal.

I hope these thoughts help.
Manganese.

4 Likes
13

Wow all this suggestion are wonderful. I will send my sister all this information, and I hope she looks into trying all these wonderful suggestions. I know about BlackPink girls, but not enough to start a conversation about them; so I’m also going to learn more about them in the hopes that I can communicate more with her. She knows I like Asian dramas/movies and know some korean words, but she thinks bc I tried to stay out of it, that I sided with my sister when in reality since she was suicidal I was terrified to even talk to her. I, for other reasons did try to commit suicide but sadly when I saw her condition (physical) I just froze and called my sister crying and that’s when she tried with no success to convince her that she loves her just the same but it hasn’t worked so far.

Thank you so much and I’m going to watch the video now.

PS. The video is gold . I absorbed every word she said, and cried when she wanted to cry. She’s everything a parent should be supportive, loving and so blessed to be in that child’s life. I’m sending this video’s link to my sis


2 Likes
14

I totally agree. Whether a person is straight or LGBTQ+ will be normal one day. The world is not quite there yet, though. With each year that passes, things seem to get a little closer to such a day.

I’ve just been involved with helping out with subs on the Japanese movie “His.” This movie shows a few of the struggles that LGBTQ+ people face. It is a really heart-warming journey. There are also some heart-wrenching moments so if you decide to watch it, keep some Kleenex tissues nearby. You will probably need them. It’s a beautiful story and it deserves its 9.5 rating.

UPDATE: Director Rikiya IMAIZUMI won NIPPON CINEMA AWARD 2021 for the movie “his” !
award%202021%20small

Some people prefer to watch the 5-part series first. This is the prequel that leads to the movie. The movie is self-contained and it still makes perfect sense without watching the background series. This background series is also excellent story telling and provides insight into how Nagisa and Shun met.

6 Likes
15

@manganese

UPDATE:
My sister and her granddaughter spend quality time together, and I’m over the moon with happiness.

She didn’t revealed (talked) too much but at least we know she’s stable. Thank you so much!

@manganese

She’s back to school (summer), and looks gorgeous! Got over her such long distant and impossible? infatuation, and hopefully will find someone closer to her that can share beautiful days together.

4 Likes
16

Hi @angelight313_168

I’m so glad to hear that those immense hurdles have been jumped and things are settling down. Thank you so much for letting me know. One of the most difficult parts is out of the way now.

May good things continue to come your family’s way!
Manganese

3 Likes
17

I also participated in the translation of the film “His”. It is really a beautiful film. It made me think of


which also shows a few of the struggles that LGBTQ+ people face.
I am not gay. I’m a mom of four and GL/BL dramas are a way for me to learn more about the community LGBTQ+ . I hope that if one of my children is gay they won’t be afraid to tell me.

6 Likes
18

Hi @anne_21,

I haven’t seen the Director’s Cut of this show. I’ve read reviews and everyone recommends it over the series (which I loved). This is a very well written and well presented drama in every way. The scene with Ito Akira’s parents is really authentic. It can take years to get up the courage to tell your family that you’re gay (even though they’ve probably suspected it for a long time).

From the sound of your message, I’m pretty sure that your children won’t have any problems. If “gay” is not an issue for you, it won’t be an issue for them, either.

Thanks for reminding me about the Director’s Cut! I’ll watch it in the next couple of days :slight_smile:

All the best,
Manganese

2 Likes
19

Director’s Cut is almost like the series but there are a few more scenes that make the film happier and warmer.
I also thought that if being gay wasn’t a problem for the parents, the kids would be fine, but it’s not that simple. I have a friend whose daughter was not well so she suggested her to go to a psychiatrist. She found out that her daughter was unwell because she didn’t dare tell her that she was gay. She thought her daughter knew that it was okay for them. That she had told her enough, but that wasn’t the case.

1 Like
21

I wonder if these links could be merged?