Viki

Let's talk about bullying (since VIKI is already talking about it like crazy)


#1

According to VIKI’s online gossip magazine, soompi, South Korean has just become the most bullied place on the planet. And No, I am not talking about the threats of one supreme leader and his big rockets. I am actually talking about school bullying.

Now, sensationalism and seemingly identical headlines aside, it does appear that 2021 has not diminished South Korean’s obsession with scandals at all! What started with AOA’s Jimin and her misconduct is now turning into a nightmarishly long string of abuses and improper behaviours. From Red Velvet’s Irene to SEVENTEEN’s Mingyu to (G)I-DLE’s Soojin to Stray Kids’ Hyunjin, it appears that these idols are no different from their ancient godly counterparts, who would often abuse and punish their mortal servants. But is any of it true? Does it even matter? Take Roy Kim for instance. He was innocent. That, however, did not stop the press and the “fans” from crucifying him.

Personally, would it not be better just to sit down and talk things through, see what really caused all these problems? Then again, some of these idols think way too highly of themselves. They need to be taken down a peg or two.

But what is your take on this whole kerfuffle? Also, is soompi just cutting and pasting these articles or what?

https://www.soompi.com/article/1410672wpp/former-aoa-member-mina-posts-allegations-detailing-years-of-harassment-from-jimin

https://www.soompi.com/article/1433126wpp/red-velvets-irene-apologizes-after-accusations-about-her-behavior

https://www.soompi.com/article/1455664wpp/pledis-releases-statement-denying-school-bullying-accusations-against-seventeens-mingyu

https://www.soompi.com/article/1455496wpp/cube-entertainment-denies-school-violence-rumors-surrounding-gi-dles-soojin

https://www.soompi.com/article/1455808wpp/jyp-entertainment-issues-statement-regarding-school-violence-allegations-against-stray-kids-hyunjin


#2

people are comparing it to the #metoo movement…It’s a valid cause, a very important topic and a platform to help people stop going through mental and physical torture alone, but there are always people who abuse it :persevere:

“Korea is recently seeing a social movement of victims of school violence and bullying coming forward about their experiences. This comes after famous Korean volleyball athletes, twins Lee Jae Yeong and Lee Da Yeong, were revealed to have bullied their classmates in their school days and were ultimately removed from the national team.” – that’s what’s happening, so of course celebs will be dragged in too.


#3

That’s exactly what I’m fearing. “My former classmate, who’s now an idol, slapped me when I was 10. He’s clearly a bully and his career should be over.” Like for real? Of course, those who really did harm others should face the consequences of their actions… Only that… Ehhh… They were 10. They were children. It’s an absurd situation. If they did something bad, now, as adults, they should face criminal charges. But how can you blame someone for something they did in middle school?! For instance, my classmates were the worst! Should I hunt them down and ruin their lives? Would that even be fair? I’m certain I did something bad to them as well…


#4

It is a very sensitive topic. I agree it needs to be addressed and acknowledge in order to prevent the same happening in the future. I suffered some when I was younger, it is hard and nowadays with social media platforms, the damage is even worst.

Society needs to be critic and educated enough to not to mistake sensationalism, old grudges or personal vendetas with a valid and fair movement. But is just soo hard when an easy click bait is what is wanted rather than to actually inform or investigate any issue.


#5

Right? No one takes the time to investigate these things. Then again, is anyone interested in actual journalism or just mindless gossip? Shame that people’s lives are at stake here…

PS: I’m sorry you had a rough time growing up. I hope you’re feeling better now. It wasn’t your fault. Bullies pick on others because of their own problems and insecurities.


#6

Yes!! More and more dramas are showing how crazy social media is…it’s a big boon but can also be the absolute worst. The sad thing about it is that celebs just can’t keep things quiet because of the way things spread…
examples: Touch Your Heart and 18 Again had the main leads in the spotlight so that every little thing they did could be taken out of context and spread to the world. Old mistakes are brought up and huge scandals are created over tiny little things and privacy and family are completely thrown to the dogs.
Political dramas are just a horror…the way politicians manipulate the media to change the opinion of the masses, drag the opposition down is just so terrible.


#7

#8

I always remember a documentary I saw years ago of this group of girls (and sorry i can’t remember the name). One of the girl was very insecure and was not worst singing than the others, but she was obviously bullied. During the documentary the girls would ‘‘bump’’ into her and laugh and you could tell it hurt her but she would laugh it off too. She was abused through the whole documentary but completely ignored by the ones filming (they thought it would bring more viewers?)

I was hoping she would leave the group and find another group to join since I knew the bullying would only get worst. She finally gave up, but instead of moving on, I remember she committed suicide by jumping from a high rise building (maybe a hotel?). The death was hidden, and I never saw her burial either it was like she never existed in that group or what happened to her, had any importance. Little did I know this wouldn’t be the first time I would cry for a senseless death caused by the evil some humans can cause to others.

Yes I agree some of this accusations are LIES some are REAL but the worse part of all this is that we have an uncaring government in some country that has not made laws to protect others from false accusations and of course Bullying as long as money goes through their hands. Sully, Go Ara and many others would be alive today if those laws that need to be implemented had protect them in the first place. If this acts of crimes has no consequences the criminal will continue doing the bad deed and not paying for their crime.

Defamation (also known as calumny , vilification , libel , slander ) is the oral or written communication of a false statement about another that unjustly harms their reputation and usually constitutes a tort or crime.[1] In several countries, including South Korea,[2] a true statement can also be considered defamation.

Under common law, to constitute defamation, a claim must generally be false and must have been made to someone other than the person defamed.[3] Some common law jurisdictions also distinguish between spoken defamation, called slander , and defamation in other media such as printed words or images, called libel .[4] In the United States, false light laws protect against statements which are not technically false but are misleading.[5]

In some jurisdictions, defamation is treated also as a crime.[6] The United Nations Human Rights Committee ruled in 2012 that the libel law of one country, the Philippines, was inconsistent with Article 19 of the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights as well as urging that “State parties [to the Covenant] should consider the decriminalization of libel”.[7] In Saudi Arabia, defamation of the state, or a past or present ruler, is punishable under terrorism legislation.

What is the punishment of defamation?

Section 500, which is on punishment for defamation, reads: “Whoever defames another shall be punished with simple imprisonment for a term which may extend to two years, or with fine, or with both.” In India, defamation is both civil and criminal offence.

We now know that the laws implemented can’t protect the victim as long as we have corrupted officials that sell their soul for a few dollars. No matter how much money they have the law should be the law and never waver.


#9

I was bullied, later on I did some myself, though not nearly as bad or intense as I received, and my victims where mostly my old bullies. What I’ve learned over the years is ppl tend to not learn from their experiences and not properly understand themselves to efficiently deal with these things. Personally I have went back after the years and talked and apologized etc etc. Though none of those that bullied me have done the same, and they did way worse shit. Most ppl don’t do this, reconcile, they try to hide or rationalize their own actions. So the tendency may be that the victims pay this shit forward, who then pay it forwards, creating a culture of it. In my opinion the punishment should fit the crime. No ending carries and lives for small one time stuff. But the most serious example might justify this imo.

We also need to remember why someone would be a bully, especially in cases such as these famous ppl. One common reason is they let the outside pressure get to them. Fans might talk smack and favor one actor over another one moment and then switch and if a persons identity (and ego) is tied to that, the person might intentionally or unintentionally start to act out against others. It’s not right, but understanding the reasons often lays the ground for dialogue and reconciliation.
Also, the victim imo has a responsibility to speak up, even if it’s hard as hell, rarely does it stop otherwise.


#10

I posted this under another topic on this message board, but it may be more appropriate here.

These bullying allegations against all of these young stars are alarming. It is such a messy situation where the truth on either side can be buried easily.

I’m not saying that bullying only takes place when its reported but for me, it’s easy for me to think the allegations against each celebrity are false because the alleged victims didn’t speak up or take action at the time of the incidents. Korean society seems to be completely different from what I’ve experienced, where individualistic ideas of worth to authority figures may lose out to the hierarchal structures of age, wealth, looks, and class. Don’t get me wrong, identical things happen in the US, but reading these articles, from the outside looking in, these barriers to speaking up for oneself seem to be a bit more sturdy in that society. Anyone think differently?


#11

This may or may not be off-topic, but since it’s a topic about bullying, here goes:
I need some advice.
I had a best friend for three-five years, everything was fine the first two years but then slowly I started noticing how controlling and manipulative she was. I didn’t really do anything about it at first because she was my only best friend as she was actually a pretty fun person. It got worse in the following years, she made sure I didn’t have any very close friends and stuff like that…I was young and stupid to believe her but I did. During that time we had created a sort of ‘fund’ by putting in a little of our pocket money in an envelope so that we could go to a restaurant at the end of the year to celebrate. That envelope was with me.
Towards the end of the year, it was the worst, she yelled at me for no reason in public twice and then pushed me to the ground in front of my whole class for some weird reason. After that, other friends told me to just cut ties and I tried to. She did apologize, but I wouldn’t call it an apology because she kept pushing fault on me “Yeah, I did wrong but you also…”
We aren’t friends now, but the whole time I still have the envelope. What on earth am I supposed to do? She is in a different school, so I’'d have to bike over to her house to make contact with her. The money isn’t a lot, but it’ll be on my conscience if I spend it. It’s still her money but I just don’t want to see her again. Someone please HELP me decide what to do, please?


#12

Oof, that sounds like a toxic relationship to me. You don’t have any mutual friends that you could ask to give it to her? Or a mutual acquaintance? (Depending on the mailbox situation in your country, you could leave it in her mailbox and message her that you left it there):thinking:


#13

One word: PayPal
That should solve all of your worries. Or just use regular snail mail. Oh, and just give her the whole sum. Let bygones be bygones.


#14

Mail it to her house. I wouldn’t spend a penny of that money since (I’m exaggerating a bit lol) I call it ‘‘blood money’’ bc all the bullying/suffering you had to go through.

I know if you spend the money you won’t feel you have been vindicated bc of the way you write is obvious you have a conscience and knowing part of it, is her money, you feel that it doesn’t belong to you, right? Just keep the amount you put in. Like you said you can ‘‘bike’’ to her house and drop it in an envelope with her name in Large Prints.


#15

That’s just wrong. Since when do actors and actresses need to be wholesome to work in the entertainment industry? Take Russell Crowe for instance. He’s a violent drunk. This still doesn’t change the fact that Gladiator is one of the greatest movies of all time. The same with Mel Gibson. He’s super messed up in his private life. He’s still one of the best actors ever.
Umm… I don’t think this drama should be postponed just because the cast has personal issues. If the quality of the project hasn’t been affected, then just air it. And it’s better to help someone in need instead of simply blaming them.


#16

I’m glad you have. I’m glad you have made a difference by breaking the vicious cycle of abuse. I wish others would do the same…


#17

Well, yes, frankly, it was easier since the bullying I did stayed at ‘being an asshole’ level. There is this one girl, she started by bullying me for years, then when I got older I bullied her. After which we went our separate ways and meet again and where on neutral terms. After this face, she started doing ‘recon’/preparatory work for bullying me again, when I just told her strait up that the things I said etc. was mean etc. and apologized, which stopped her in her tracks. However, she never apologized, just faded away and I never heard from her again, I didn’t get bullied again. I mean, why is it so hard for people to say their sorry, especially if you yourself have said sorry. It’s just sad. Ppl, keep putting up a picture of their perfect life on Social media etc. I feel few ppl in this world actually want to be real and have a deeper connection with others. My take away was that it was like releasing the weight of my sholders and it made it easier to do it again, but still I feel sad, it should be a basic skill if you wil, to say I’m sorry. The same applies to the celeb world as discussed here, what we all think shouldn’t matter, but rather the individual relationship between the ppl in question. If the thing leaks to the public, in my view, it’s a lack of communication between the celebs, more than anything. Even worse if it escalates from that to banning ppl from jobs etc.

This tends to be a norm for some reason, even Einstein had problems in his home life, but we know him for his work. Many smart ppl are socially dumb, if I can put it in such a crude way, I think it may also apply to many good actors.


#18

@vivi_1485, I am sorry that you had to experience such an abusive relationship. I know that many school kids endure a relationship that is harmful to them because of the fear of losing “friends”. It is equivalent to a domestic abuse situation for adults. In both cases, it requires courage to cut the tie and become your own person. I am glad that you no longer have to deal with her, but I agree with the others that you should find some way to return the money.

@mattlock, you are a big person for apologizing. It may seem easy but most people find it the hardest thing in the world to admit that they were wrong.

@adrianmorales and @angelight313_168 , I agree that celebrities should not be put on a pedestal, either to be idolized or to become an easy target of unsubstantiated rumors. In the case of Park Hye Soo, I have no idea whether the allegations are true or not but I do know that there will be a huge collateral damage done to the rest of the cast and the entire production team.

On a personal note, I have mixed feelings about school bullying. Although I have not experienced bullying myself, I have seen the effects of bullying through my own kids. To give a background, my oldest son was born with a congenital disease called neurofibromatosis and an associated illness called pseudarthrosis of left tibia. I won’t go into the medical explanation of those conditions but my son had to go through over a dozen surgeries, had three bone grafts, growth plates of his right leg removed, went through a year of leg lengthening procedure, all before his 18th birthday. As you can imagine, he was called “legless”, “loser” and other names by kids. Yes, there were times I wanted to go and shake those kids but I realized that instead of trying to scold and teach other people’s kids, it’s faster and more fruitful to find a way to make my own son stronger and compassionate. With girls, I found that many times the cause for bullying (especially cyber bullying) stems from jealousy. This was the case for my daughter.

Bullying is a serious issue but I am not sure I agree with ruining livelihood (sometimes life itself) of someone for their past behavior, especially if the person no longer exhibits such behavior.


#19

Well, I was bullied in school so bad that I promised myself that when I had my own kids NO ONE would ever bully my kids, and I kept that promise to each and everyone of them. I am not ashamed of what I did, and if anything I recommend everyone to fight for your kids be their voice, their bodyguard. My kids always knew I had their back.

Bullies deserve to be bullied, and learn their lesson well. If you ask me, if I had the chance; would I apologize to them? No way in hell. They would turn around and act like they were the victims, and I would never get the apology I very well deserved but of course, would never get from them.


#20

yeah thanks, I think I will just give her the entire thing, I was wondering how to split it and stuff.
Mail is really weird here because we live in apartments and the mailman usually just leaves it in a common mailbox for the entire building.

Thanks for the advice, I will just drop it off at her house.

The thing is, I want it to end. I’m afraid that if I just drop it I’ll get a call or something from either her or her parents (I’m scared of both.) and I don’t want to talk to any of them. Her parents were also involved in this…they accused me of very weird things and stuff so even though I don’t want to admit it I AM afraid of them.