Rest in peace Kim Jonghyun 😭

I just feel like making a topic for this wonderful person who left us all way too soon. Although I was never a fan of SHINee, I did like their music as well as his solo works. His passing affects me more then I thought it would, I feel like crying but I’m also very angry, not at Jonghyun, but the entertainment industry. I was lucky to be able to see him live once while some Shawols never might have gotten a chance to do so as well :frowning: He will be missed by many :cry:

Let’s post some songs:
https://youtu.be/NpTpEsE9G8c

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JdVBmfFZ8JU

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so sad =;(
Depression is something so serious. The agency was supposed to keep an eye on the idols.
The agency was supposed to keep an eye on the idols.
Rest in peace jong and your fans too!

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Seeing this news first thing in the morning broke my heart. As someone who’s been listening to SHINee since 2012, it saddens to me to see someone who brought me so much joy having to endure so much pain.

It hurts me to imagine what could’ve pushed him to the edge and what his last moments must’ve been like. Death is scary and as often as people say they want to die, when put in that situation, most would wish to stay alive.

Mental illness needs to be de-stigmatized in Eastern culture. A lot of cultural practices can be mentally and emotionally harmful and mental illnesses are seldom taken seriously.You wouldn’t be ashamed to visit the doctor if you caught the flu, so why should be a taboo to seek help with a mental illness that could potentially lead to your death?

My heart goes out to his friends and family.

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The worst part is not the lack of support from the agency, is the coldness of those that surrounded him called, FAMILY.

No matter how depressed or mental illness a person has, the love of his family could have helped him survived the demons inside of him. In his suicide letter he says the voice keep telling him: 'What is eating you alive?

It was his secret that he had to keep hidden from the whole world bc he would never get support in that society or from his family. He was seeing a Doctor but even the Doctor had his judgmental mentality and never gave the right advice to this poor child.

He never wanted to be an idol and it seems he was forced to stay in that career that most likely was the main reason he did what he did. He wanted out, so he could be HIMSELF. To live the life the way he wanted to live with no one judging him, but he knew in his ‘‘world’’ that would never become a reality.

The pain became too much for him to continue. Most Asian actors or singers that commit suicide have no family support and they feel so alone. I wish they would make a hotline for suicide prevention like they have here in the USA.

I have been in his shoes, except I survived and my reasons were totally different than his but I know all he was doing was crying for help, but no one was there to really listen bc they were too busy worrying about what other people would think or say about him. Now, all who turn their face away and didn’t listen to his cry for help, have to live with that for the rest of their life.

A hug, a kiss, a simple ‘‘I love you no matter what you chose to be in life’’ would have saved him. Now is too late, they can not turn back time. I hope he really finds the peace now, that was denied to him in this rotten world.

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This is such a tragedy. A beautiful soul lost far too soon. It reminds me of this video on YouTube video named the “The Rendezvous Storyboard Animatic”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T9Ay8j_fkgk

Honestly, what hurts me the most is that in his letter, he talks about how the doctors did nothing but trivialize his feelings. I am so hurt after the news of his death and depression is a serious issue. Unfortunately, regardless of fame and wealth, it does not make you immune to the demons that plague the human mind. :frowning:

We will miss you Jonghyun.

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“How sad my heart is, Words cannot describe.” ─ Kazumasa Oda

For those who want to read a translation of his letter themselfs
https://www.soompi.com/2017/12/18/jonghyuns-dear-friend-nine9-reveals-final-letter/2/

We don’t know them personally, so I think it’s unfair to make such claims. As far as I’m aware, Jonghyun has never mentioned his family being unsupportive and his relationship with them was great up until his death.

If you ask me, it was his perfectionism. No matter how much love and praise he got, he felt like he wasn’t good enough, like he didn’t deserve it. He discussed this in his letter and Nine9 talked about it as well.

As someone who lost a friend to suicide, I have to disagree. Sometimes, the demons are stronger than any amount of love. As much as I wish I could turn back time and save my friend, I don’t think I could’ve done anything to save her.

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The only demon inside a person who tries or commits suicide is feeling unloved, alone and in so much pain that they can’t be one more day living through that.

He didn’t had that support system and neither did your friend. As a person who tried to commit suicide I can tell you there are no demons inside US. Its just no love to embrace us, to comfort us’, to give us a ray of hope that things will get better and the pain will go away. As we walk hand in hand TOGETHER as a family knowing that nothing can be so bad that a loving mother and father, a family can overcome.

This young man was not accepted the way he wanted to be and live the life that brought him happiness. He was forced to live a lie, a life he hated so much because he wasn’t happy there.

I’m not judging his parents and like you said, I don’t know them personally but ONE thing I’m sure he wasn’t loved enough bc if he did he would be with us on this earth today.

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I think the problem also is Korean society. It’s all about not losing face, be the best, wan’t to fit in. You don’t talk about your problems because then you are weak, you will be judged like “why aren’t you stronger?” or maybe “that person must be insane.” I did read somewhere that he went to seek help from doctors and one of them said “It’s all in your head”. Well that’s a nice thing to say when someone finally has the courage to seek help.

Depression is taboo in Korea. I even heard that you can get fired when your boss finds out you are depressed or cut your pay because due depression you cannot give it your all. And when you want to get hired and they check your medical record they might not hire you because ohh dear you had/have a depression.

And next to that talking to friends and family has it’s limitations, specially when the depression is very severe. For the friends and family it’s hard too because how to help this person? Yes you can shower them with love and talk to them but you need to be careful to not get sucked in as well. That once almost happened to me when I was helping a friend, lucky I could convince her to seek professional help which helped her a lot.

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I don’t think the lack of love was the problem even though I can’t tell for sure since I didn’t know him personally. It’s true that sometime not feeling loved can lead to depression, but sometimes even if you are surrounded by your loved ones you can still feel depressed. I’m saying that as a person who has a family member who has been in deep depression for almost 10 years now and hasn’t got better no matter how much love we gave him.

Depression is something that can’t be explain. It can happen to anyone and there isn’t always a specific reason. It is a hate you feel throward yourself that keeps growing and growing and slowly you just start feeling nothing, a shell filled with only dark thought.
And in order to get out of it you need help, help of your loved one of course but also help of people who are professional and know what they do and have the tools to help you get out of the darkness. You also need to be able to express what you feel without feeling ashamed or judged in order to get better.

But unfortunately with our society now there’s no such thing.
The society is preventing you from expressing your suffering. As Jonghyun said he felt alone and felt that no one listened to him even though he had friends with whom he was talking about him feeling like dying. What he needed and what has to change is how the society deals with mental illness, reduce the pressure on people, give them the time to breath when they feel overwhelmed. If Jonghyun had had the opportunity to take a break from everything and relieve the pressure maybe it wouldn’t have ended so tragically.

The medical world also need a lot of improvement. The doctors world also helped leading to this terrible end. And this is unacceptable ! A doctor who is supposed to support his patient and help him get better made him feel even worse with his thoughtless words.
In order for this to stop happening, there need to be more talking and less discrimination against depression in the medical world too. Mental disease need to be more taught and discuss in medical schools, doctors needs to be sensitize with this and follow special formation to deal with people with mental illness, to know how to support them, know what to say, how to act, …
I’m a medical student myself and mental illness is very seldom mentioned however it is as important as physical illness. The very few psychiatrist teacher we have keep telling us that psychiatry is a very low regarded discipline and that they really lack of doctors in that filed which is totally aberrant regarding the increment of mental illness due to our pitiless society!
My point is that things NEED to change ! Some measures need to be taken to teach people, doctors, bosses, relatives, …. Because the less we talk about it, the more people will suffer and die because of people’s ignorance and stigmatisation !

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So even though you are a medical student you don’t get much info about depression? That has to chance for sure but it’s quite complex. For people without a medical background (or with the same experience) it’s already hard too understand and if doctors don’t get it either because they are not given proper information…
Depression is actually an illness like getting the flu, meaning it’s not something you can prevent and it seems it can be a genetic thing too. (Some dutch sites I visited to read more about depression said so)

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That was very wise of you, dudie. Your determination helped your friend, and that’s how you saved your friend. That is how we save our friends or loved ones. Never giving up on them or turning our back to them.

This poor young man had no support system and his family had that cultural enigma(taboo), that made them being more judgemental on him, than loving him and accepting him the way he was.

To make matters worst, I bet anything, the company that formed the group, paid that incompetent psychiatrist. He probably was trying with tough actions to make him change his way of thinking and feeling. We all know that’s what drove him more to the edge of the abyss.

The biggest slap on the face for this young man after his untimely death is, what he’s parents are doing right now. They are hiding his body. keeping everything ‘‘private’’ now too. If I was his mom, I would sue the company, psychiatrist niot for the money but to make his voice heard.

I will scream out to the world ‘‘my boy is dead because this society didn’t accept him for what he was, and we need to change this now so more of this poor kids don’t end up being another suicide victim.’’ A parent should not have to bury their children in such a senseless way.

He had to live a life of pain every day of his life! why his parents didn’t say to him; ‘‘Son, come home and rest and let us support you in your battle bc you have the right to love whomever you want and no one has the right to judge you for that!’’

I don’t care how hard it is for a parent to know their child is gay, the love for that child you brought into this world, should be bigger that any judgement the world wants to give to them. He was alone amidst the crowd, his fans, friends and family. HE WAS ALL ALONE in a battle nobody cared to join him in because they are cowards who rather look the other way that give a helping hand no matter the consequences.

The fans should in his memory fight to open up the mind of this narrow minded society. In his memory open a clinic for LGBT that need this support system so they wont have the need to kill themselves to stop the pain.We don’t even know the whole story, he took it to his grave.

I hope if there is someone out there that knows the hell he was living, be brave enough and be his voice so this injustices never happens again.

I know at one point didn’t wanted to die but like always there was no one to save him because he was alone. Everyone that he called, never answered his plead for help.there were signs, there were cries but they chose to look away.

That is why in one his last photo in the balcony he looked up to the sky. He was going to be another kind of star in heaven, shining bright to give light to those that only know darkness. He will be angel now in heaven guarding and giving the love that was denied to him here on earth. HE IS IN PEACE

This is absolutely true. There are people who always see the bright side of things and are always hoping for a better tomorrow, no matter how harsh the circumstances, and there are those who see the glass half empty and feel life is meaningless, although they lack nothing. It’s a question of perspective which comes from inside. Whether this can be caused by lack of love or other things, I don’t know.
I know a lady, who was orphaned at 14, has lived through war, occupation, civil war, and post-war poverty, has always been an extremely cheerful and positive person, always surrounded by dozens of friends, and never worried about the future. Well, she did change a bit after the age of 85 and the economic crisis, but most of her life she was like I described.
Whereas her son, who grew up in a safe environment, adored by his mother etc. was always a more melancholy person who tended to see the dark side of things and lose hope much more easily.
I don’t know the factors which cause or don’t cause depression, but I don’t think lack of love is one of them.
Of course, I know of at least a case of a person with fully explained cause: her son died tragically at the age of 25 in a motorcycle accident. They kept her from throwing herself out of the hospital windows, but since then, she has been unable to sleep without Zanax because she got nightmares and yes, she is clinically depressed. In cases like her you don’t need to look very far, but most others I’ve seen are very obscure.
What I know for sure is that the Korean entertainment industry puts enormous pressure on its artists. Even more than the entertainment industry of the rest of the world, which is not a joke as it is, and we’ve see how it routinely leads to alcohol and drug problems.

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For why they wanted it to be private: I did see a video of when they carried him to the car. I understand reporters do film what ever they can, it’s their job, but all these flashlights… that’s so disturbing. Who wants that? A funeral is sad, you don’t want flashlights in your face all the time.
Furthermore none of us was part of his private life, so it’s better to refrain from jumping to conclusions.

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Rest in Peace… ;(

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He is finally at peace but he does need our prayers bc he committed suicide it’s harder to go into the light right away and our prayers help them see the brightest light that guides them back home.

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@kuraimegami
Go to youtube and watch all his videos from childhood until the end. Listen to every painful words he expressed with his own mouth. About his parents, and the life he was living that was so painful to him.

DEMONS, evil people destroyed this poor young man. they used him, drugged him, exploited him until he couldn’t take it any longer. REST IN PEACE child…:cry:

Hi @adrianmorales

If you ever need to talk just PM me. Your poem is really beautiful. Did you write it?

Oh, thank you! Maybe I will, since you’re someone who has battled with depression…

I don’t think I’ve posted a poem on Viki, although I do write them, so now I’m curious.
Can you please share the post?

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It made me cry as I found out he was the one who wrote “Breathe” from Lee Hi after he died, cause the lyrics of that song are so deep and the same is for his own song “Lonely” these songs and most of his other newer songs are all making me feel so damnly sad :sweat:

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