Aww… Thank you so much for your kind words!
I wanted to provide a tip about how to recognize the formality levels when addressing people in Korean, so that you can “bypass” the English “you” which is not helpful at all. I teach this to my Italian subbers as a first thing.
Formality levels
Formality levels are expressed by different types of sentence endings that change depending on the speaker’s closeness with the subject, their age and social status of each on the hierarchy ladder.
There are about seven formality levels, but we can simplify them as three: super-formal, casual-formal (by far the most used) and casual-informal.
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Super-formal:
On the news, in announcements on the subway, in presentations,
In workplaces to address your boss, the director of the company, the principal if you’re a student or teacher,
Your friend’s grandfather/grandmother etc.
In historical dramas, everyone speaks super-formally to the king, even his wife and children. The queen speaks formally to her son the crown prince, even if he’s a child! The trap
In day-to-day speech, you might hear some fixed expressions in super-formal in the middle of a lower style of speech. So if you hear “kamsahamnida” (thank you) or “cheswahamnida” (sorry) don’t count it, it may be misleading.
Moreover, you can hear some super-formal sentences as sarcasm or playful irony, between people who otherwise speak informally: e.g. a mother saying to her lazy daughter “Oh, has the princess woken up?” -
Formal-polite:
Used with people that you aren’t totally close with but don’t want to distance yourself from too much , and in situations that aren’t totally casual but aren’t super formal, either. This is arguably the most useful form to know when learning Korean, as you will be the least likely to offend someone, be they a working colleague, a university acquaintance, or someone you just met, if you use it.
In dramas couples keep using this form from the moment they meet until after they have become a couple. Surprisingly, sometimes married couples use it still. In older couples, you hear the woman speaking to her husband in polite form while the husband addresses her in casual form - even if the woman is a professional with a high position. In “Memory”, the wife was a judge and the husband a lawyer, still she addressed him respectfully and he used informal speech with her.
In schools and universities, you are expected to use the polite form to any of your schoolmates who is older by you or in a higher class (your seonbae). Yes, it sounds ridiculous but it’s true! A 17-year old will address formally an 18-year old!
At work too. If someone joined the company before you, s/he is your seonbae and you have to address them formally, even if the age gap is one year or less.
In old generations, you used this for your parents, and in some traditional families they still do. Some people who used banmal with their parents when they were children start using this polite form with them as they get older, especially after getting married. I asked my teacher why is this, and she says they want to reflect the more adult relationship that develops as they move from being children to being adults.
This form often goes with calling them by their surname and name (all the three syllables of a Korean name), adding “-ssi” (=Mr, Mrs, Miss) at the end. This means you are on a somewhat more relaxed formality basis. Not close friends, but still not very formal. Because in formal situations you never use the name, only the title. -
Casual/informal (banmal):
Between close friends, especially if you were friends since childhood (and this persists even if in adult life one of them reaches the high end of the social ladder),
Between siblings of roughly the same age or from an older sibling to a younger one *sometimes younger to older uses formal, especially in adulthood).
Adults use it to address school children and students.
Generally, when speaking to people who are younger than you or otherwise below you in the social hierarchy, who hold a lower position than you.
The boss speaks like this to his employers, the (older) principal to the teachers.
Old people will sometimes speak like this to a younger stranger in the bus or subway. The policeman to the criminal he’s chasing.
Two people when fighting and insulting each other may switch to banmal for the duration of the fight.
The king speaks informally to everyone, but sometimes wants to be polite and uses the formal/casual form to a high-ranking person like Chief minister if he’s much older.
To be on the safe side, it’s never used with someone you just met when their status is not obvious.
When you speak informally to someone, you refer to them by their given name (only the last two of the three syllables making up the full name). If it’s the subject of the sentence you also add ~i at the end of the first name. And if you are addressing them/calling them directly, you add -ah or -yah afterwards (they are the same thing. -ah is if the name ends in consonant, -yah if it ends in vowel (for instance Sa Rang - ah, Min Ho - yah)
Knowing this, most of the time you should be able to guess which form is correct when translating into your language. What is tricky is when the relationship changes and the level of intimacy changes. Or if someone is very angry and switches to informal for a while, then returns to normal. And some situations/relationships are atypical or not that obvious. For instance in “Encounter” the secretary was the director’s old friend, so she addressed her formally in front of everybody but switched to informal when they were alone.
Okay, so how to recognize them?
The suffix expressing the formality level is attached at the end of the verb. As the verb in Korean is always at the end of the sentence, it’s easy to spot it.
- Super formal: the ending is ~mnida (becomes ~mnikka? in the interrogative form).
- Casual-formal: the ending is ~yo.
- Casual: no ending.
Honorifics
Apart from the formality levels, there are also the honorific particles, which are put at the end of the person’s name.
First of all, look for -nim. If, instead of “seonbae” you hear “seonbae-nim”, you know the person addresses his/her seonbae formally. Same if instead of “nuna” the person uses “nunim”. In the case of “hyeong”, if you use “hyeong-nim” it means it’s a respected seonbae of yours when you’re adult. It is also used for a mafia boss by his subordinates. Like using “bhai” in Hindi (I am a great fan of the film “Munnabhai MBBS”)
Then train your ears to listen for “keso” when referring to your grandmother, to your friend’s grandmother, to the bank president etc. For instance, you would refer to your own father as “abuji” but to your friend’s father as “abonim” (more respectful) and most of the time “abonim-keso” (respectful and honorific). As if to say “Your honoured father” or something like that. There are other honorific markers (-si- inserted inside the verb), but not as easy to spot so there’s no point in dwelling on them.
More complete rule
So let’s enrich our rule with all the new info. Here it is in full:
- Super formal: the ending is ~mnida (becomes ~mnikka? in the interrogative form). Using only titles, not the name, with -nim at the end. Sometimes added honorific - keso (see below).
- Casual-formal: the ending is ~yo. Sometimes using the name instead of the title, with -ssi. If using titles, -nim at the end.
- Casual-informal: no ending. Only first name with -ah or -yah at the end.
Now for some training.
Chef Moon ep. 7 @ 7:19
Goblin ep.14
@ 56:26 - 57:17 What does the nephew do? How he addresses his two “uncles”? What’s the joke here with the particle he adds?
Goblin ep.15
@36:05 - 38:35 How do the two main leads address each other in this scene where they are on the white couch? They are a couple now, and discussing how to address each other.
@ 55:24 - 56:24 How does the presenter address the guest (lawyer)? How does the lawyer address the presenter? How does the presenter address the audience? After the radio show ends, two girls speak. How do they speak to each other?
@ 56:18. The restaurant owner sits on a table with a real estate dealer and they talk about a sale. How does he address her? He just says two sentences.
@ 56:49 - 58:46 The female lead (radio presenter) and the restaurant owner (Sunny). How do they address each other? How the female lead refers to the carrot-haired restaurant owner lady?
What’s wrong with Secretary Kim episode 1
2:56. The secretary and her boss. How do they speak with each other?
7:07-7:40 A board meeting. The president is giving a presentation. Long, complicated sentences. Listen to the ending of all of them. The vice chairman intervenes to make some comments. How does he speak to the president, and how does the presenter (president) speak to him?
25:11-26:10 The vice chairman (male main lead) is speaking with his secretary (female main lead). Suddenly, his parents come. His mother calls him from afar, she speaks to the secretary. Then everybody sits down to a meal. How do they address each other and what formality level do they use? The elder couple between them, the parents to the boy, the boy to the parents, the parents to the secretary?
How does the mother refer to her son?
34:50-35:50. We are at a banquet. The vice-chairman and his secretary are there, when a female approaches. How does this annoying creature address him?