Absolutely Brilliant …
Ordering a Pizza in 2022
CALLER:
Is this Pizza Hut?GOOGLE:
No sir, it’s Google Pizza.CALLER:
I must have dialed a wrong number, sorry.GOOGLE:
No sir, Google bought Pizza Hut last month.CALLER:
OK. I would like to order a pizza.GOOGLE:
Do you want your usual, sir?CALLER:
My usual? You know me?GOOGLE:
According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.CALLER:
Super! That’s what I’ll have.GOOGLE:
May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?CALLER:
What? I don’t want a vegetarian pizza!GOOGLE:
Your cholesterol is not good, sir.CALLER:
How the hell do you know that?GOOGLE:
Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.CALLER:
Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetarian pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.GOOGLE:
Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once at Lloyds Pharmacy, 4 months ago.CALLER:
I bought more from another Pharmacy.GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.CALLER:
I paid in cash.GOOGLE:
But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.CALLER:
I have other sources of cash.GOOGLE:
That doesn’t show on your latest tax returns, unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law!CALLER:
WHAT THE HELL!GOOGLE:
I’m sorry sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.CALLER:
Enough already! I’m sick to death of Google, ■■■■■■■■, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I’m going to an island without the internet, TV, where there is no phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.GOOGLE:
I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago…Welcome to the future
snarky, another of discobot’s relations. Augh! Poking fun at us! 
The future indeed, 
I don’t want it, they can have it! 