Painting the toenail
My husband and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.’
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said ‘We’re sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.’
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the people at MacD’s.
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, ‘You need a 1/4 horsepower.’
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, ‘NOOO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’
We haven’t used that repairman since…
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local city council office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: ‘Too many deers are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’
IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE.
My daughter went to a Mexican fast food and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’
To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’
He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’
The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it’s safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an ‘intellectually challenged’ co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, ‘what on earth are blind people doing driving?!’
She is a government employee…
When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a
service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’
His reply, ‘I know. I already did that side.’
They walk among us, they breed, and they vote……
You now have 2 options…
Send it along to put a smile on someone’s face today!.
Follow Laugh With The Ladies
Weeping with laughter: wwl
I have tears in my eyes, and am laughing, I laugh the more I try to figure out this one. Tears of laughter. If you figure this one, let me know! The comments only kept me laughing.
Go fullscreen for best view.
when you see it say you got it
ok so I did put this on another link, but thought I’d also put it here
It’s 2024, I’m getting old and I still have so many unanswered questions!!!
I haven’t found out who let the dogs out…
where’s the beef…
how to get to Sesame Street…
why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps…
Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same,
or how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop…
why eggs are packaged in a flimsy carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that’s tough as nails…
what does the fox say…
why “abbreviated” is such a long word;
or why is there a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator…
why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons…
why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections…
and, why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts” where’s that extra penny going to…
why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune…
why did you just try to sing those two previous songs…
and just what exactly is Victoria’s secret?
and where is Waldo?..
Can you hear me now?..
and do you really think I am this witty?? …
I actually got this from a friend, who stole it from her brother’s girlfriend’s, uncle’s cousin’s who lived next door to an old class mate’s mailman!!!
If K-drama was on a plane.
If you don’t burst out laughing, you do need to check your funnybone!
ok I had some fun with this, so I thught of you guys,
ok not to let down the others, can you send us Korean, Thia, tiawan alphebet, hey what a way to learn other languages
anyway I thought it was fun…
I love this! My username is sooo cute!
and just think we can use our “names” for our names for different places!!
Yes! I thought of that too!